Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Nowadays, people are too obsessed with buying or acquiring material things such as expensive clothes or cars because, they think that people around them will judge them based on what they possess.

Many and many
people
are focused on their image in society. They try to buy expensive stuff
such
as trendy
clothes
or luxury cars because their priority is society's
opinion
of them.
However
, is it a reality for the majority of the
people
? On the one hand, young
people
are more obsessed with other's
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
so they try to buy fashionable, designed
clothes
to look cool. It happens because a big number of individuals want to create a rich personal image.
For instance
, some
people
rent a luxury car to look cool in the eyes of their friends, despite the fact that they can not afford
this expensive vehicles
Change the determiner
this expensive vehicle
these expensive vehicles
show examples
.
Moreover
, many individuals prepare to loan
money
from the bank only because they want to be cool.
On the other hand
, there are numerous smart
people
who think rationally so they do not care about others.
This
type of individual has high self-esteem so they do not need expensive goods to create a positive
opinion
of somebody.
For example
, billionaires
such
as Mark Zuckerberg wear simple, comfortable
clothes
because they do not care about others'
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
and are focused on their own comfort.
Furthermore
, they know how to invest
money
accurately so buying
clothes
or luxury cars has no sense for them because they will better invest
this
money
and afterwards will have revenues from it. To sum up, in my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
many
people
are focused on their looks so I fully agree with
this
statement because they try to buy trendy goods and are prepared to loan
money
for it.
Submitted by dominikskorbus on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • material wealth
  • social media influence
  • advertising
  • high-end products
  • better lifestyle
  • peer pressure
  • societal norms
  • luxury items
  • financial strain
  • personal growth
  • temporary satisfaction
  • long-term happiness
  • fulfillment
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