IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people think modern communication technology is having some negative effects on social relationships. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #communication #technology #effects #relationships
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It is argued that
people
Use synonyms
 need to change
the
Correct article usage
apply
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social
communication
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 in
today
Change noun form
today's
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 world. The global is modernized from fashion,
daily
Correct word choice
and daily
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 habits to
communication
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.
Although
Linking Words
people
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 think
communicate
Wrong verb form
communicating
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through
Change preposition
apply
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online brings some bad effects on relationships
of
Change preposition
in
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 society,
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while
Correct word choice
apply
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I believe that we
are
Change the verb form
also use
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also
Linking Words
use
Use synonyms
 modern
communication
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technology
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. On the one hand, accessing
to
Change preposition
apply
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advanced
communication
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 is more
convenience
Replace the word
convenient
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it saves a lot of time for everyone.
Instead
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 of going to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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places to meet
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
Use synonyms
 that
places
Change the verb form
place
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 far from you, you only need a phone or computer that
more
Add a missing verb
is more
show examples
convenience
Replace the word
convenient
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.
Though
Correct your spelling
Through
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technology
Use synonyms
, you can share,
talk
Correct word choice
and talk
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 with each other easily.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it makes old
people
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 can talk with their friends. Because of their age, they meet
quite
Change the article
aquite
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 difficulty in moving. Thanks to
technology
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, seniors have
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
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 to chat with friends. They don’t have to
alone
Add a missing verb
be alone
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 it creates boring.
Therefore
Linking Words
, modern
communication
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technology
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 brings benefits to children,
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
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 and
also
Linking Words
 old
people
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.
On the other hand
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, we shouldn’t
use
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 modern
communication
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 because of its negative effects. When using
communication
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technology
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, you will depend on and lose capacity face-to-face with anyone. In
Add a comma
,reality
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reality
Replace the word
real
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 life, communicating with others will create
the
Correct article usage
apply
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conversation more comfortable and friendly.
Moreover
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,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
social networks have many webs
bring
Correct pronoun usage
that bring
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 too much immeasurably dangerous. They will chat with you
through
Change preposition
on
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
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 web, make
Add an article
a friend
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friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
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 and
then
Linking Words
 they will borrow you some money to do something. So
communication
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 online
very
Add a missing verb
is very
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 sophisticated and everyone shouldn’t
use
Use synonyms
 it. In conclusion, we can
use
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communication
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technology
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 or not.
Although
Linking Words
 it brings convenience, we need to limit
Use synonyms
use
Correct pronoun usage
its use
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 because of
negative
Correct article usage
the negative
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 effects of it.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • face-to-face interactions
  • messaging apps
  • social media
  • non-verbal cues
  • family bonds
  • dependency
  • digital communication
  • superficial relationships
  • cyberbullying
  • online harassment
  • social isolation
  • virtual connections
  • emotional satisfaction
  • real-life interactions
  • technological intrusion
What to do next:
Look at other essays: