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Band 2

Philippine is considered having the highest population all over the world. Do you agree or disagree?

#philippine #population #world
The two bar graphs
compares
Change the verb form
compare
show examples
 the
employment
 differences between men and women aged 60 to 64 years old. The
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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study was conducted in
Belgium
,
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
,
Japan
 and
Indonesia
 between
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 1970 and 2000. Overall, those men who were employed during the two
period
Change to a plural noun
periods
show examples
 of time
dominates
Correct subject-verb agreement
dominate
show examples
 the highest record in
four
Correct article usage
the four
show examples
 countries. Meanwhile, females remained the lowest percentage of
employment
. In the year 1970, roughly 88% of males had the highest number of
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to the female which marked below 80% in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
. Similar to
Indonesia
,
Add an article
the male
a male
show examples
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 had approximately 84% which is higher
of
Change preposition
than
show examples
 14%
in contrast
 to women. Both
Belgium
 and
Japan
 stayed below 80% of their male population who are working.
However
, females in
Belgium
 had over 60% of
employment
, unlike in
Japan
 that
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 recorded under 60%. Meanwhile, after 3 decades, the trend of
mens'
Change noun form
men's
show examples
employment
 in both
USA
 and
Indonesia
 depicted above 70% which is the highest among
four
Correct article usage
the four
show examples
 nations. Females worker in
Indonesia
 recorded almost 50% while both
USA
 and
Japan
 got above 40% as can be observed in the graph.
Belgium
 drastically dropped their women workers below 10%.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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