As technology has advanced, there is almost no gender difference when applying for any job in any sector. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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this

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advanced era, people can hardly find any gender discrimination. Nowadays

women

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and

men

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work

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in many fields but in some areas of

work

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males and

females

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work

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differently. So, in

this

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essay, I would take a partial view. To commence with, some people think that there is no gender inequality observed these days. First and foremost , in the medical

field

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like nursing and physiotherapy

females

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are more owing to their job.

However

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, males are

also

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dominating to show their skills in the same

field

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Moreover

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, In the teaching

field

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in the past

women

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worked more in schools but in

this

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era,

men

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also

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work

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in the teaching

field

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For example

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, In the parliament, only

men

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were allowed to

work

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but for two years

women

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also

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reserved their seats in politics and did great

work

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On the other hand

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, some fields need physical

strength

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and

men

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have always the upper hand in these. By

this

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, I mean that, In the military, there is no doubt

women

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also

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serve for their country but

men

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have great physical

strength

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as compared to ladies.

Furthermore

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, in physically challenging sports like, Football and rugby mostly

men

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play these games as their physiques are different than

women

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's.

Similarly

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, no man can challenge

women

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in the marketing and promotion

field

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. In these sectors,

females

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have good power to communicate with others but they do have not that much physical

strength

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For instance

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, In marketing companies,

females

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are greater than males

according to

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one Japanese survey.

To conclude

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, there is no doubt that

gentleman

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gentlemen

show examples

and

women

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both

work

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in any

field

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but sometimes their

strength

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and intelligence are different and it leads to working in different sectors.

For

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this

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reason, I support the partial side of

this

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essay.

kaverigoti2209Mon Aug 05 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the task and provides a clear position throughout. While you've provided relevant points for both sides of the argument, make sure your stance (partial agreement) is consistently clear.

task achievement

Work on further developing your ideas and providing more comprehensive explanations and examples for each point you make. This will help strengthen your arguments and make your position clearer.

coherence cohesion

Focus on improving the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Ensure each point leads smoothly to the next and that your arguments build on one another effectively.

coherence cohesion

While your essay does have an introduction and a conclusion, work on making sure these sections are as strong and impactful as possible. A clear, concise introduction and a compelling conclusion can enhance the overall cohesiveness of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Make sure your main points are fully supported with specific and relevant details. Providing more examples and elaborating on your main points will improve the depth of your essay.

task achievement

Your essay provides a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument. This demonstrates your ability to consider different perspectives, which is important for a well-rounded response.

task achievement

The inclusion of relevant examples, such as the comparison between men and women in military and marketing careers, enhances the credibility of your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Your essay is well-organized, with clear paragraphing and a logical structure that helps guide the reader through your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Both the introduction and the conclusion are present, providing a clear start and finish to your essay. This helps frame your discussion and gives it a sense of completeness.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

294 words

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As technology has advanced, there is almost no gender difference when applying for any job in any sector. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Obesity is a serious problem in many countries, especially in rich countries. Discuss ways to solve the problem. Provide specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Today children are surrounded by electronic devices such as personal computers, tablet computers, and smart phones, and they learn to use them at a very early age. What are advantages and disadvantages of this situation?

Rich countries often give financial aid to poor countries, but it does not solve poverty, so rich countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?