As technology has advanced, there is almost no gender difference when applying for any job in any sector. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In
this
advanced era, people can hardly find any gender discrimination. Nowadays
women
and
men
do
work
in many fields but in some areas of
work
males and
females
work
differently. So, in
this
essay, I would take a partial view. To commence with, some people think that there is no gender inequality observed these days. First and foremost , in the medical
field
like nursing and physiotherapy
females
are more owing to their job.
However
, males are
also
dominating to show their skills in the same
field
.
Moreover
, In the teaching
field
in the past
women
worked more in schools but in
this
era,
men
also
work
in the teaching
field
.
For example
, In the parliament, only
men
were allowed to
work
but for two years
women
also
reserved their seats in politics and did great
work
.
On the other hand
, some fields need physical
strength
and
men
have always the upper hand in these. By
this
, I mean that, In the military, there is no doubt
women
also
serve for their country but
men
have great physical
strength
as compared to ladies.
Furthermore
, in physically challenging sports like, Football and rugby mostly
men
play these games as their physiques are different than
women
's.
Similarly
, no man can challenge
women
in the marketing and promotion
field
. In these sectors,
females
have good power to communicate with others but they do have not that much physical
strength
.
For instance
, In marketing companies,
females
are greater than males
according to
one Japanese survey.
To conclude
, there is no doubt that
gentleman
Fix the agreement mistake
gentlemen
show examples
and
women
both
work
in any
field
but sometimes their
strength
and intelligence are different and it leads to working in different sectors.
For
this
reason, I support the partial side of
this
essay.
Submitted by kaverigoti2209 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the task and provides a clear position throughout. While you've provided relevant points for both sides of the argument, make sure your stance (partial agreement) is consistently clear.
task achievement
Work on further developing your ideas and providing more comprehensive explanations and examples for each point you make. This will help strengthen your arguments and make your position clearer.
coherence cohesion
Focus on improving the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Ensure each point leads smoothly to the next and that your arguments build on one another effectively.
coherence cohesion
While your essay does have an introduction and a conclusion, work on making sure these sections are as strong and impactful as possible. A clear, concise introduction and a compelling conclusion can enhance the overall cohesiveness of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your main points are fully supported with specific and relevant details. Providing more examples and elaborating on your main points will improve the depth of your essay.
task achievement
Your essay provides a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument. This demonstrates your ability to consider different perspectives, which is important for a well-rounded response.
task achievement
The inclusion of relevant examples, such as the comparison between men and women in military and marketing careers, enhances the credibility of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized, with clear paragraphing and a logical structure that helps guide the reader through your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Both the introduction and the conclusion are present, providing a clear start and finish to your essay. This helps frame your discussion and gives it a sense of completeness.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: