Today, people in many countries have to spend more and more time away from their families. Why is this happening? What effects does this have on the people themselves and on their families?
A lot of people nowadays have to live far away from their
families
, due to the increasing job opportunities and mobilization in urban areas. It is a far better chance to land a high-income job and build an outstanding career from
the most developed cities of the country rather than Change preposition
in
the
countryside. Change preposition
in the
As a result
, many have made a choice to travel and work from infrastructural cities while trying to support their families
from there. There is no denying that this
has brought big social consequences which are getting worse by Correct article usage
the days
days
. Fix the agreement mistake
day
In
particular
it has brought a rise of workaholics, whose schedule is working overtime and trying to make as much money as possible. It is evident that workhorse culture is becoming drastically more popular in Asian countries, especially Japan where employees who show dedication and commitment to their company have a chance of promotion. Needless to say, the competition there is over the top that’s why having free time for your family is a privilege not everyone can afford.
To look even Add a comma
,particular
further
into the effects of this
phenomenon, it can be seen that the economic miracle of the 20th century had a consumptive effect on large families
. Japanese, parents, especially the father, who has to work long shifts at the office, may go on for days or even weeks without seeing the face of their children. That being the case this
situation results in people not valuing families
as much as they used to. It also
increases the risk in population
since the birth rate drops. Loneliness and relationships Correct article usage
the population
also
become a problem for workaholics that’s why it could result in suicides and lonely deaths rising. All of this
can and more can become a reality to
any nation around the worldChange preposition
for
,
if they don’t decide Remove the comma
apply
the
solutions for modernization.
In summary, the collapse of family Change preposition
on the
bond
has been underway for quite some time now, and it has already taken its toll on many societies, of which Japan is a prime example. A solution is needed now to restore the once strong and inseparable bond between the bloodlineFix the agreement mistake
bonds
,
so that it won’t be too late to have a normal family.Remove the comma
apply
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite