IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The young should get advice from old people than young people. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is considered
by
Change preposition
apply
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some, youngsters ought to gain feedback from elderly
people
Use synonyms
 rather than younger ones. Personally, I
am completely agree
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completely agree
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 with the
first
Linking Words
 viewpoint and
this
Linking Words
 essay will provide some arguments
on
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for
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this
Linking Words
 development. On the one hand, if children are willing to be notified about certain aspects of life
such
Linking Words
 as how to build a better future in
live
Replace the word
life
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, they should request
a particular advice
Remove the article
particular advice
a piece of particular advice
a bit of particular advice
show examples
 from older
people
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 since are more experienced than younger individuals and
also
Linking Words
 they can provide young children with a better solution or feedback to their problems.
For example
Linking Words
, recent studies have
showed
Change the verb form
shown
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 that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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majority
Correct article usage
the majority
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 of adolescents who have gained
an advice
Remove the article
advice
a piece of advice
a bit of advice
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 from old
people
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 were able to achieve
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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better results
particularly
Add the comma(s)
,particularly
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 in business.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, despite the arguments, there is
also
Linking Words
 an obvious case for the idea that why younger
people
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 are less experienced since they want to achieve greater things more quickly without much effort
as
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apply
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these days social media is getting even more popular than before while creating some negative effects for adults by offering easier ways for humans to accomplish their difficult tasks without any physical activities a result of
this
Linking Words
 they may not be able to fulfil their dreams.
For instance
Linking Words
, nowadays a number of
people
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 are
depended
Replace the word
dependent
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 on the internet and
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
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 most of their time
by
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apply
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watching unnecessary videos
instead
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 of trying to be a model person for the upcoming young generations by increasing their life experience towards life. To conclude, having weighed everything mentioned
up
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apply
show examples
, I can come to the conclusion
with
Change preposition
apply
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that, to gain
a
Correct article usage
apply
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better feedback children ought to ask for advice from elderly
people
Use synonyms
 since they
possesses
Change the verb form
possess
show examples
 a better
lifetime
Replace the word
life
show examples
 experience than younger
people
Use synonyms
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • wisdom
  • experience
  • modern challenges
  • peer advice
  • long-term perspective
  • contextual relevance
  • diverse perspectives
  • generational gap
  • mentorship
  • cautionary tale
  • evolving societal norms
What to do next:
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