The grwoth of online shopping will one day Lead to all shops in towns and cities closing.Do you agree or disagree?

#grwoth #shops #towns #cities

It is possible that all shops in towns and cities will disappear because of the increasing online shopping

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

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However

, I strongly disagree with

this

opinion which will be discussed in

this

essay.

First

of all,

people

do want to see and touch original

products

This

is because they want to make sure that

products

are

Change preposition

show examples

good quality and worth paying for.

For example

, I bought online garbage bags and they can not be used as the plastic is too thin,

therefore

I have to buy a new set of them at BigC. Another reason is that we want to know if

products

suit us.

For instance

, I always try on clothes in shops before buying

online

Correct pronoun usage

them online

show examples

. The

second

point is that

this

can avoid online

frauds

Fix the agreement mistake

fraud

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. Many

people

are deceived to transfer money to sellers,

however

Add a comma

,however

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they do not receive their goods.

For instance

, my friend bought a

furby

Change the capitalization

Furby

show examples

doll for two thousand baht, but she received nothing.

Therefore

, a lot of them rely on shopping in stores rather than online. Purchasing at stores can

also

be trustworthy.

As a

Change preposition

show examples

lot of

people

receive fake

products

from online shopping.

For example

, I shopped for a

second hand

Add a hyphen

second-hand

show examples

brandname

Correct your spelling

brand name

last

year and received an unauthentic Gucci belt. In conclusion,

this

essay completely disagrees with

this

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

statement that one day all stores in towns and cities will be closed once the number of online shopping rises since

people

do want to see and touch original

products

and the store can avoid online

frauds

Fix the agreement mistake

fraud

show examples

Submitted by ak.porawan on Thu Jan 12 2023

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

253 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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