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Band 6

The TASK: Some people seek a lot of advice from family and friends when choosing their career. Others feel it is better to choose a career more independently. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #advice #friends #career
Some believe it is useful to follow the advice of close
people
while
 choosing a
job
 as they have the experience and knowledge to make the right decision. Others,
however
, argue that
such
decisions
 need to be made independently because the young start feeling more responsible. I am convinced
job
 satisfaction which comes from
favourite
Correct pronoun usage
their favourite
show examples
job
 is the key factor why
people
 should make
decisions
 on their own. Admittedly, young
people
 can rely on the advice of close
people
such
 as family and friends
due to
 the experience they have. In most ,cases close relatives recommend the
profession
 they own themselves or those which are really profitable.
For instance
, many doctors in Uzbekistan try to convince their children and close relatives to choose
this
profession
 because of
being
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 sure it can bring them both fame and fortune. By following
such
 recommendations young
people
 can
assure
Verb problem
ensure
show examples
 they will have a well-paid and prestigious
profession
. Yet, choosing a future
job
 is one of the most important
decisions
 in life and doing it independently makes
people
 more responsible If the young spend time and energy thinking about their future and select the
job
 themselves, they are likely to take it more seriously Achieving success in any sphere requires dedication and commitment so by making a choice independently they are going to spend more energy to prove their decision was right.
In other words
, they are the only ones whom they can blame in case of failure so they tend to do their best to succeed. I believe a person needs to choose the
profession
 without listening to others because only a favourite
job
 can give a feeling of fulfilment. When
people
 are forced to do a
job
 they dislike, it is highly unlikely they can achieve any results. Despite the amount of salary,
people
 are going to feel unhappy and demotivated
while
 a favourite occupation can give them enough motivation to develop There are many examples of young entrepreneurs who started doing the
job
 they love and achieved success
as well as
 depressed
people
 doing well-paid jobs.So making a choice in favour of an interesting
job
 usually brings more positive consequences. In conclusion, despite the knowledge our close
people
 have about different professions , I support the view that
decisions
 in terms of future occupation need to be made independently because they provide fulfilment and motivation.
Submitted by shuh035 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure a clear and consistent opinion is presented in the introduction and conclusion.
Task Achievement
Provide specific and varied examples to support the main points and opinions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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