IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

In some countries, people encourage their children to get a job or to travel after their secondary education and before their university education. What are the advantages or disadvantages of doing so?

#countries #people #children #job #travel #education #university
In some parts of the world,
students
 fresh out of finishing secondary
education
 are encouraged to be engaged in either doing a job or travelling before they step into higher
education
.
This
 essay will discuss the benefits and demerits of
this
 method on them. There are a few factors that one would obtain, by engaging in extracurricular activities before university life.
Firstly
, most
students
 just after secondary school lack experience in society so, by engaging in jobs will provide them with new opportunities and experience.
Furthermore
, when they engage with eminent figures and innovative pedagogical methods in the respective fields that they are interested in, a summarized idea of the reality around their field and profession can be learned. While travelling, exposure to various communities, cultures and experiences will develop their social skills and arm them with new perspectives on life.
On the other hand
,
although
 some
students
 will be highly satisfied with working in an office, some may find it to be much more stressful and unfortunately, would give up on proceeding
further
education
 even before entering their university study.
Then
, it is a great loss to both society and the student’s life.
Instead
 of being in a safe environment like home, when
students
 start to travel with no sense of the dangers in society, they will end up in unpleasant conditions.
For example
, if they travel alone, they are more prone to get kidnapped or assaulted. How unfortunate is it to experience
such
 hardship even before they step into higher levels of
education
? Overall, from the above-mentioned reasons, it is evident that unless we outweigh the benefits to risks, finding a common ground is hard about engaging in jobs or travelling before higher
education
 for children who just finished junior school.
Submitted by Nimz on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: