Some people believe that children are given too much free time. They feel that this time should be used to do more school work. How do you think children should spend their free time? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#people #children #time #school #work

No one wants to lose the game of life. It is so commonly believed that people can gain a high-paid job if they get high scores during their

school

time

. So the

parents

take away the free

time

from

children

to make them work hard. I totally disagree with

this

idea and I will share my thoughts in

this

article. Ever since

children

get into elementary

school

, there is a scoreboard after each test in Taiwan. Through watching these statistics,

parents

will decide how much play

time

should they give to their offspring. Those with lower grades

then

be sent to a cram

school

at night until they can improve their grades. I think the

parents

do it all wrong.

Firstly

, humans are not perfect, people have their own strengths and weakness. It’s good that if we overcome them, but what if we can’t? Yes,

this

is why commercial was invented. We can collaborate with each other, we “sell” our expertise and “buy” those we don’t have. There is no need to excel at everything. Robbing free

time

from

children

and donating to a study that the

children

are not good at already isn’t clever.

Secondly

, schools are not perfect, we don’t teach everything in

school

However

, those

parents

use only the score to measure their kids with a standard of success. Those

children

have already lost chances to know what they are good at, and their

parents

insisted to take their free

time

away.

This

only makes their

children

lose their

time

to explore their interests. In conclusion, I believe

children

should have free

time

during their

school

day. We should encourage them to play hard and keep on exploring their interests. Those things they are really interested in, will become their expertise and contributed to our society.

Submitted by qooe212156822000 on Thu Jan 12 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

299 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

unstructured free time
creativity
mental health development
extracurricular activities
well-rounded development
sports
arts
social skills
family time
emotional growth
relationship building
rest and leisure
academic performance
burnout

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Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think the best way to motivate and exchange people to work hard is to pay them based on how much they produce and sell. Do you agree or disagree? Include relevant example.

These days, in many counties fewer and fewer people want to become teachers, particularly in secondary schools. What are the reasons for this, and how could the problem be solved?

Many people say that the only way to guarantee getting a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is bette to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. How far do you agree or disagree with the above views?

The government should tax unhealthy food to encourage people to eat more healthily. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?