IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

All universities should have an equal number of male and female students in each subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#universities #students
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
For
Change preposition
From
show examples
 my
perspective
Add a comma
,perspective
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 don't agree with
this
Linking Words
 topic that all
universities
Use synonyms
 should have an equal number of male and female
students
Use synonyms
 in each subject. Since
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can score good marks in
subject
Add an article
the subject
show examples
. And it's not
Correct article usage
a must
show examples
must
Correct your spelling
just
show examples
 to have
same
Change the article
a same
the same
show examples
 number of
students
Use synonyms
.
Students
Use synonyms
 should only
concenterate
Correct your spelling
concentrate
 on
studies
Correct pronoun usage
their studies
show examples
 rather than
focusing
Wrong verb form
focus
show examples
. On male and female
students
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 my
view
Add a comma
,view
show examples
 there should be
seperate
Correct your spelling
separate
 classes for male and female
students
Use synonyms
.
For
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
 many male
students
Use synonyms
 bully female
students
Use synonyms
unnecessary
Change the adjective
unnecessarily
show examples
.
Seperate
Correct your spelling
Separate
 classes for male is
better
Add an article
a better
the better
show examples
 option in
universities
Use synonyms
 all male
students
Use synonyms
 should compare their marks with them only. If male and female
students
Use synonyms
 study in
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
universities
Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
 will allow lots
chaos
Change preposition
of chaos
show examples
 in our society. But
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
females are
also
Linking Words
 working in big companies and in
this
Linking Words
 modern world both are working in
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 environment be it
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
 or
company
Correct article usage
a company
show examples
.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
show examples
securities
Fix the agreement mistake
security
show examples
 should be tight if male and female
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 working or studying together like
cctv
Correct your spelling
CCTV
 and good security guards. Nowadays many rape cases have been increasing
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 women. So
woman
Change noun form
woman's
show examples
 safety should be
minority
Add an article
a minority
the minority
show examples
. Henceforth parents should tell female
students
Use synonyms
 or workers to dress properly. Because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
male
students
Use synonyms
 or workers will not stop gazing
them
Change preposition
at them
show examples
. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
 if
universities
Use synonyms
wants
Change the verb form
want
show examples
 to allow female and male
students
Use synonyms
 to study together.
Their
Correct pronoun usage
They
show examples
 should have all the same female and male
students
Use synonyms
 together in class. competition should be good if
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 will have same to
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 number. In
Use synonyms
universities
Add a comma
,universities
show examples
 teachers should teach how to give respect each other.
Their
Correct your spelling
There
show examples
 should
also
Linking Words
games
Add a missing verb
be games
show examples
 to be played with them. If there is free time
universities
Use synonyms
 should definitely allow games because studying all time should make the person gets bored.
Submitted by shoeb.ontario on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender equality
  • diversity
  • inclusivity
  • balanced
  • learning environment
  • opportunities
  • perspectives
  • gender stereotypes
  • fairness
  • equal opportunities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: