Films and computer games containing violence are popular. Some people say they have negative impacts on society and should be banned, while others say they are just harmless relaxation. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
Despite the improvement of modern awareness, the violent action contained in the relaxed things becoming more and more universal bears some consideration.
This
circumstance should be prohibited by the authorities due to
the health issues and the distraction of education, in spite of those who believe that prohibition is not effective for the whole public.
It is important to acknowledge that
the adverse influence of violent Correct word choice
apply
entertainment
banned is children's health. In other words
, the content of those games and films harms the children’s mentality, such
as sleep deprivation or causing worry and stress. With this
in mind, the global governments collaborating with parents of the young generation
do not allow to publication of violently screen-based entertainment
to the market. Take Japan as a pertinent example, where authorities enforce the strict regulation of unpublished violent digital media to prevent the decline of the futuristic generation
.
Nevertheless
, some critics think that effective policies from the government can not be popular widely. There is a belief that there is still a minority of people
who do not accept the regulations since it has a strong impact on their privacy and satisfaction. This
may be true, yet instead
of enjoying the thrill and interest in those entertainments, people
experience panic and upset, contributing to the destruction of their mindset, despite the small number of people
who are interested in violent digital entertainment
. As a consequence
, more and more people
suffer from psychiatric illness, leading to an increasing number of patients taking to the hospital and putting pressure on society.
From this
writer’s experience, the content of ferocious audiovisual entertainment
can negatively influence the study progress of many people
, especially the young generation
. This
is because after enjoying those relaxations, their mindset can urge them to do more without control. In addition
, they crave to do that and are indifferent to learning, causing a decrease in academic achievement in many educational institutions. For
this
reason, the modern generation
trained worse than the previous generation
, who concentrated on studying rather than doing the useless thing, such
as playing extreme games.
Thus
, it can be observed that the adverse effects of psychological illness and the studying interrupting factor are essential points that need to be considered. Therefore
, it should have been demonstrated that authorities worldwide are alerted to the severe situation and take actions to prevent it as soon as possible, like strict laws.Submitted by AI EO on
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Introduction
Ensure to clearly introduce your essay. Providing a brief overview of the topics you will discuss sets a solid foundation for your argument.
Language Usage
Use varied sentence structures and precise vocabulary to enhance clarity and engagement. Avoid repetition and aim for clear, concise language.
Supporting Examples
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Cohesion
Focus on clarity in your argument progression. Each paragraph should smoothly transition to the next with clear topic sentences that guide the reader.
Own Opinion
Be explicit in stating your opinion. While discussing both sides of the argument, ensure your own stance is clearly communicated and substantiated.
Grammar and Spelling
Revise for minor grammatical and spelling inaccuracies. While these are small, polishing these aspects can enhance the overall quality of your essay.
Task Response
Discussing both sides of the argument, then providing your own opinion, aligns well with the task requirements.
Language Range
The attempt to use a range of vocabulary and complex structures shows effort towards achieving language variety.
Conclusion
Your conclusion summarizes the key points of your essay, clearly restating your stance, which is a positive attribute.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
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Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example