Some people believe that teaching music in schools is a vital part of growing up and human experience whilst others believe that teaching music in schools is a waste of time and resources

In schools,
students
learn how to analyse data, the grammar of a language and even the science behind biology but often
students
graduate with basic skills for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
normal daily life. It is
therefore
argued that school should teach a variety of subjects where a
student
will be able to face the real
world
with a better understanding of how things work,
for example
, economy, politics,
social
Correct word choice
and social
show examples
skills.
Although
the
education
system
is design
Change the verb form
is designed
show examples
to provide
students
with the basic knowledge of certain subjects, the main aim for schools must be
about
Change preposition
to
show examples
teach
students
skills to be used in the real
world
,
for example
, when a
student
is being taught mathematics, apart from learning how to multiply and divide, the
student
can learn how to solve problems through logic.
Moreover
, the shift in the ideology of
education
must not end there but
also
extending
Wrong verb form
extend
show examples
the syllabus, encompassing new subjects that could be more useful for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life after graduation,
for instance
, finances.
However
, these changes take time and can be costly, mainly because educators must be trained and a proper
system
to teach must
be establish
Change the verb form
be established
show examples
as well. To sum up, the current
education
system
achieves to teach basic knowledge about mathematics and science but fails to prepare the
student
for the real
world
. Even though the process to change or adapt the
education
system
is rough and expensive, adding
finances
Replace the word
financial
show examples
education
to the syllabus would be highly beneficial for both the
student
and the
world
.
Submitted by Davidf_moreno on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental
  • instilling
  • discipline
  • team work
  • emotional intelligence
  • stress relief
  • well-rounded
  • allocated
  • STEM subjects
  • practical
  • job market
  • detract
  • core subjects
  • enhance
  • cognitive functions
  • curriculum
  • vital
  • enriching
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!