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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that teaching music in schools is a vital part of growing up and human experience whilst others believe that teaching music in schools is a waste of time and resources

#people #music #schools #part #whilst #waste #time #resources
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In schools,
students
Use synonyms
 learn how to analyse data, the grammar of a language and even the science behind biology but often
students
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 graduate with basic skills for
a
Correct article usage
apply
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normal daily life. It is
therefore
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 argued that school should teach a variety of subjects where a
student
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 will be able to face the real
world
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 with a better understanding of how things work,
for example
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, economy, politics,
social
Correct word choice
and social
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 skills.
Although
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 the
education
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system
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is design
Change the verb form
is designed
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 to provide
students
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 with the basic knowledge of certain subjects, the main aim for schools must be
about
Change preposition
to
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 teach
students
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 skills to be used in the real
world
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,
for example
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, when a
student
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 is being taught mathematics, apart from learning how to multiply and divide, the
student
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 can learn how to solve problems through logic.
Moreover
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, the shift in the ideology of
education
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 must not end there but
also
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extending
Wrong verb form
extend
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 the syllabus, encompassing new subjects that could be more useful for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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life after graduation,
for instance
Linking Words
, finances.
However
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, these changes take time and can be costly, mainly because educators must be trained and a proper
system
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 to teach must
be establish
Change the verb form
be established
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 as well. To sum up, the current
education
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system
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 achieves to teach basic knowledge about mathematics and science but fails to prepare the
student
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 for the real
world
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. Even though the process to change or adapt the
education
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system
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 is rough and expensive, adding
finances
Replace the word
financial
show examples
education
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 to the syllabus would be highly beneficial for both the
student
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 and the
world
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.
Submitted by Davidf_moreno on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental
  • instilling
  • discipline
  • team work
  • emotional intelligence
  • stress relief
  • well-rounded
  • allocated
  • STEM subjects
  • practical
  • job market
  • detract
  • core subjects
  • enhance
  • cognitive functions
  • curriculum
  • vital
  • enriching
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