IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people regard eating meat as completely wrong. To what extent do you agree?

Certain
people
Use synonyms
 believe that eating
meat
Use synonyms
 is something that
people
Use synonyms
 must not do. In my point of view, I disagree with the statement because some of the reasons
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will be
further
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 explained in the essay. Nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
 who decided
becoming
Change the verb form
to become
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vegan
Use synonyms
 are increasing. But the community
also
Linking Words
 need to realize that not all
people
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 can be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vegan
Use synonyms
. There is nothing wrong with eating
meat
Use synonyms
 because, in fact,
meat
Use synonyms
 has lots of protein
that is
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 useful for our bodies. Other than that, some
people
Use synonyms
 cannot exchange
meat
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 with other kinds of
vegan
Use synonyms
 protein due to their health conditions.
For example
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,
people
Use synonyms
 who have problems with low blood pressure are recommended to eat enough red
meat
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 to maintain their health condition.
Thus
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, being a
vegan
Use synonyms
 is not a good decision for them. Another reason, if
people
Use synonyms
 do not eat
meat
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 anymore,
therefore
Linking Words
, the stability of
ecosystem
Correct article usage
the ecosystem
show examples
 will
ruined
Change the verb form
be ruined
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 is because the eating pyramid,
also
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 the eating chain that
exist
Change the verb form
exists
show examples
 in the ecosystem will become unstable. To illustrate, carnivores like tigers generally hunt herbivores
such
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 as lambs. When the eating supply for herbivores is
also
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 taken by humans,
as a result
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, the herbivores soon will have no food as well as the carnivores. The source of fruits and vegetables will
also
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decreasing
Change the verb form
decrease
be decreasing
show examples
 in parallel with the increasing number of vegans. To summarize,
kill
Wrong verb form
killing
show examples
Add an article
an animal
the animal
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animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
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 and
eat
Wrong verb form
eating
show examples
 their
meat
Use synonyms
 as our daily consumption may seem wrong. But in fact, the environment had given us many kinds of sources for our healthy diet. As long as we eat with responsibility, eating
meat
Use synonyms
 will not become a problem.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it can help
people
Use synonyms
 who have health issues.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • wrong
  • healthier
  • animals
  • conditions
  • killed
  • cruel
  • fair
  • diet
  • fruits
  • vegetables
  • better
  • longer
  • impact
  • production
  • land
  • water
  • energy
  • pollution
  • cultural
  • traditions
  • part
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