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Band 5

Sugary drinks should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#drinks #people #sugar
Some
people
 agree that the prices of sugary drinks should be risen to encourage customers to consume less
sugar
. Personally, I totally disagree with
this
 statement, my opinions will be discussed
as
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the following reason.
To begin
 with, increasing
prices
Correct article usage
the prices
show examples
 of
sugar
-based refreshments would not discourage
people
 to drink them less if they have no concerns about the disadvantages of these products. I believe that health education should be taught more to make
people
 have
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
 awareness of medical issues. If they learn that high blood glucose can lead to life-threatening problems and disabilities
such
 as stroke, heart attack or leg amputation from Diabetic Mellitus (DM), or even death, they may continuously control their carbohydrate eating behaviours, and unhealthy sweetened potations may be less consumed eventually.
In addition
, high costs of living would affect
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 if the authorities keep increasing the charges
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
merchandises
Fix the agreement mistake
merchandise
show examples
 in order to make
people
 purchase
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
 unhealthy products. I would argue that
people
 should be supported more to ingest food that uses healthier
sugar
 substitutes. A prime example of these alternatives is stevia which is a sugary plant and is free of calories and
sugar
. While the costs of living stay reasonable, alternative sweeteners could become wise choices for anyone who loves sweetness but prefers to be healthy. In conclusion, the consumption of high carbs diet can lead to major diseases, disabilities and death. I strongly believe that
instead
 of increasing
prices
Correct article usage
the prices
show examples
 of
sugar
-based products, health education and availability of healthy substitute sweeteners should be promoted as imposing priorities which could help
people
 to knowledgeably decrease their
sugar
 intake.
Submitted by vollesunita on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sugary drinks, sugar-sweetened beverages, soft drinks
  • Health consequences, obesity, diabetes, dental health
  • Government intervention, public health, deterrent
  • Sin taxes, levies, fiscal policies
  • Equity, accessibility, low-income communities
  • Consumer behavior, dietary habits
  • Education campaigns, public awareness
  • Beverage industry, economic impact
  • Paternalism, autonomy, personal choice
  • Global trends, international policies
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