Some people believe that a good planning is the key factor success in life. Others think there are more important factors (hard work or luck). Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is believed that the factor of success is
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good planning,
whereas
it is thought that
people
have more important
factors
to be successful.
Although
people
have more chances to
succed
Correct your spelling
succeed
by planning their steps, there are other
factors
, namely hard
work
and
luck
which help
people
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
achieve their
goal
Fix the agreement mistake
goals
show examples
.
A planning
Correct the article-noun agreement
Planning
show examples
steps lead to success effectively
sicne
Correct your spelling
since
If
people
plan their steps, they can see the results of their
work
or study as
quick
Change the word
quickly
show examples
as
possoble
Correct your spelling
possible
,
also
it helps them see their weaknesses.
For example
, the researchers from Japan
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
experimented on primary school pupils, where they found out that pupils could get higher marks when they plan their way of study.
Therefore
,
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good planning is one of the ways to be successful.
However
, hard
work
and
luck
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
something that individuals can not ignore, If they want to
succed
Correct your spelling
succeed
. Because these two
factors
can be
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
for being successful,
nevertheles
Correct your spelling
nevertheless
it takes a lot of time and effort.
For example
,
russian
Change the capitalization
Russian
show examples
researchers discovered by experimenting on high school students that students could achieve their
goal
Fix the agreement mistake
goals
show examples
by studying hard despite of they did not have any plans, which was followed by
luck
, as well.
Hence
, hard
work
and
luck
are
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
part of achieving success. In conclusion, It is found that
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
plannig
Correct your spelling
planning
is not only
key
Correct article usage
a key
show examples
factor
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
successful
Add an article
a successful
show examples
life, but
also
there
Add a missing verb
are another
show examples
another
Replace the adjective
another factor
other factors
show examples
factors
such
as hard
work
and
luck
that can help
people
achieve their
goal
Fix the agreement mistake
goals
show examples
.
As a result
, it is recommended that
people
ought to combine all these
factors
and find
balance
Add an article
a balance
the balance
show examples
between them
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
if they want to become
successful
Add an article
a successful
show examples
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on a more sophisticated structure for the essay with clearer paragraph delineation. Ensure that each paragraph is dedicated to a single idea and that transitions are seamless and logical between paragraphs.
task achievement
Reduce minor grammatical errors, such as spelling and punctuation mistakes, that can distract from the readability of your essay. Consider proofreading more thoroughly or using tools to catch these errors.
task achievement
You have provided clear examples to support your points, which strengthens your arguments and demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame your essay and provide a cohesive structure from beginning to end.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • success
  • good planning
  • goals
  • objectives
  • allocation of resources
  • uncertainty
  • productivity
  • hard work
  • diligence
  • perseverance
  • skill development
  • continuous improvement
  • challenges
  • setbacks
  • luck
  • opportunities
  • favorable circumstances
  • outcome
  • personal opinion
  • crucial
  • unpredictable
  • remain open
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