IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people feel that media coverage has become increasingly biased today. Why is this? What can be done to fix this problem?

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Nowadays, most people believe that mass
media
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 has become biased and does not represent the actual
information
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. The main reason for
this
Linking Words
 is government pressure and an effective solution is the special rights and protection for the
media
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 people and journalists. It is not a secret for anyone that mass
media
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 represents
information
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 only beneficial to the state and political parties, because of the authority in society. By
this
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, I mean that they put pressure on news channels so that they show only the positive sides of the event.
For example
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, in my country almost all the news channels hide negative
information
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, misinforming us about actual scenarios,
due to
Linking Words
 the fact that the authority always keeps the
media
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 under surveillance so as not to raise a stir in society.
Therefore
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, if there is an issue,
then
Linking Words
 there is a possible solution. In
this
Linking Words
 case,
media
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 people and journalists should
be
Verb problem
have
show examples
 absolute freedom in getting and representing any
information
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. To be more precise, they need to have special rights,
such
Linking Words
 as inviolability, and in case of threats from the
,
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apply
show examples
 government the government should get protection from the police. A great example is Scandinavian countries, which occupy the top 5 countries on the press freedom index. 
This
Linking Words
 suggests that journalists have every right to represent actual data about
happened
Verb problem
apply
show examples
events  In conclusion, if the mass
media
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 becomes biased because of authority pressure, society will be misinformed about actual events.
Consequently
Linking Words
, efforts should be made to prevent and avoid it from happening again

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task achievement
Expand on your ideas further to ensure they are fully explored. Develop each point with more depth and additional examples for clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to vary your sentence structures to improve the flow of your writing and enhance readability. Using transitional phrases can help guide readers.
coherence and cohesion
Strengthen your conclusion by summarizing the main points you discussed and emphasizing their significance more clearly. This adds to the overall impact of your essay.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic and provides a clear viewpoint on the bias in mass media, which is essential for a good task response.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples, like the situation in your country and Scandinavian countries, which enhance your argument and show understanding of the issue.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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