IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You have a Facebook friend living in another country and s/he is curious to learn about a major news item in your country. Write a letter to your Facebook friend. In your letter describe a news story in your country explain why people are interested in it say how the story personally relates to you You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear ..., You should write at least 150 words.

#minutes #facebook #friend #country #news #item #story #people #addresses
You asked me recently about the latest news in my
country
. Say honestly, there is a lack of interesting news. It looks like Canada is the quietest
country
 in the world. But it was some curious story about the
country
's gold fund. They wanted to convey some part of the gold from the storage to the Central Bank with the purpose of starting the money reprint - the portrait of King Charles 3
instead
 of the portrait of Queen Elizabeth 2. Unfortunately, 2 workers at the airport have revealed it and planned a theft. And they did it successfully. For 3 days all over the
country
, there was plenty of police and a lot of traffic jams.
Finally
, they caught them. And most importantly - they found all of the gold. We were so excited to listen to it.
Moreover
, we were more excited about the traffic jam disappearing. Best regards, forever yours. Tim.
Submitted by anastasia on

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coherence cohesion
Try to structure your letter with clear paragraphs, each focusing on one aspect of the news story. This helps to improve readability and coherence.
coherence cohesion
In the greeting and closing, it's essential to use proper punctuation. For example, 'Best regards' and 'forever yours' should be capitalized and punctuated properly.
task achievement
Although your response covers all the required points, it would benefit from more detailed description and explanation. For instance, why was the public particularly excited about the portrait change on the money?
task achievement
Your informal writing tone is appropriate for a letter to a friend, making your letter more engaging and authentic.
task achievement
You included the essential elements requested in the task: you described the news story, explained its significance, and related it to your own experience.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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