A recent study showed people in developed countries are not as happy as they were before development. What are the causes of this and what are some possible solutions?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Looking into recent times as more countries are becoming highly developed, studies have been made stating that citizens are unhappy, compared to when their country was not developed.
This
Linking Words
essay will
further
Linking Words
discuss the causes for the decrease in happiness, as well as possible viable solutions. One of the
first
Linking Words
problems of developed regions is the pressure to be financially stable, despite the high taxes that lead to economic hardship.
This
Linking Words
makes people pursue careers that do not bring contentment but promise monetary stability, bringing security and prestige
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but resulting in frustration.
For instance
Linking Words
, a friend of mine, John, always wanted to pursue photography but due to external invalidation and the high chance of not being well paid, made him seek an engineering course, that he did not like. Not only
this
Linking Words
, but most of the high-paying jobs demand several work hours and in other cases, individuals have to be involved in more than one job, leaving little to no time for family, friends and self-care.
For example
Linking Words
, a nurse that I know,
that is
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
a single parent, has to do late night and long hour shifts, just to increase income to support her son
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but has to give up on leisure time with him. A possible solution for people to choose careers that bring joy is for the school system to encourage students that it is best for them to like what they do and find interesting,
instead
Linking Words
of only thinking about performance, good grades and money. Another solution, but regarding the extensive schedule, would be for the government to plan financial resources in order to allocate fair wages and promote a maximum number of hours that a worker is allowed to do labour. To conclude, developed communities call for a great
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
of finances, which causes stress about stability, but practical solutions can be made through school giving encouragement for children and teenagers to follow their passion, and government decisions changing with reference to salaries and time management.
Submitted by filipa.joao11 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • technological advancements
  • social isolation
  • communication tools
  • work-related stress
  • material wealth
  • consumerism
  • economic status
  • meaningful experiences
  • relationships
  • environmental concerns
  • pollution
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • mental health
  • sedentary lifestyles
  • physical health
  • mental health problems
  • anxiety
  • helplessness
What to do next:
Look at other essays: