IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, abd have health problems as a result. Why do man working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

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Most workers do not get enough
exercise
Use synonyms
 either during the working
place
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 or
in
Change preposition
during
show examples
 their
relax
Replace the word
relaxation
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 ,
abd
Correct your spelling
and
 have health issues eventually.
This
Linking Words
 essay will
first
Linking Words
 suggest working people who do not get enough
exercises
Fix the agreement mistake
exercise
show examples
 in the working
place
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 and what could be done
for
Change preposition
about
show examples
this
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 issue. The most vital thing in the working
place
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 is doing your job
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 and it leads to pressure and
low
Add an article
the low
a low
show examples
 possibility to
exercise
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. Working hard is one of the crucial
thing
Change to a plural noun
things
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 in many people's
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
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 but
also
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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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means spending too much
time
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over
Change preposition
on
show examples
 some projects without physical movement.
Moreover
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, lack of
exercise
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 in the working
place
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 will be the
couse
Correct your spelling
cause
 of serious health problems in the future.
For instance
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, most people who
works
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work
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 in the office have overweight problems which sooner or later
leads
Correct subject-verb agreement
lead
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 to
heart
Add an article
a heart
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 attack. To avoid
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of productivity and physical activity in the workplace employers should give their staff more
time
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 to do their job perfectly right on
time
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. If employees have their own
time
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 management, they will be able to
exercise
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 after work.
Therefore
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, doing
exercise
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 in the working
place
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 would raise
workers
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workers'
worker's
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mood
Fix the agreement mistake
moods
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 and increase their productivity in any project.
For example
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, in
Japan
Add a comma
,Japan
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 some offices have
exercise
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time
Use synonyms
 for their workers, and without exercising they don't allow employees to work. In conclusion, doing
exercise
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 in the working
place
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 is one of the most important
thing
Change to a plural noun
things
show examples
 to do , as our health is counting on it.
However
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, not all of us figure it out yet.

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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