Countries should not replace their traditional culture with modern culture . To what extent do you agree with this statement?

It is considered that modern practice should not take over the place of traditional

culture

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in the countries. I completely agree with

this

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opinion and think that countries should not replace their traditional practice with modern ones.

First

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of all, I believe that traditional

culture

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is holding the values of a country. These values have become the identity of that place for years that does not only belong to the land, but

also

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to the society who gave their time, blood, and spirit to the country.

Besides

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, traditional

culture

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has an important role in creating balance and peace between humans, the environment, and

life

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For example

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, during the silent day in Bali, the community are asked to turn off their electricity and stop their daily activities—there is no transportation at all. The Balinese will gather and walk to Pura to pray and meditate.

This

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way of praying is not only affected people's behaviour during the day but

also

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has been the

culture

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of Bali itself.

This

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way of celebrating silent days has been known all over the world and became part of the traditional

culture

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in Bali.

That is

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one of the reasons affecting the importance of traditional

culture

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towards nation and land.

Secondly

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, traditional

culture

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can be paired together with modern perception. The alternative option is not removing the way of practising at all, but creating a red thread for both traditional and modern especially for the young generations. For the

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generation, it is difficult to keep up with the old style because their everyday

life

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is filled with fast information about

this

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and that. Unfortunately, the curiosity to find more information to preserve the

culture

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is almost nothing. Modernism has changed their perspective towards people and social

life

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For example

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, a student in junior high school is quite familiar with Korean

culture

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than Indonesian.

This

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situation let Korean

culture

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to be fit into Indonesian

culture

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. Most of the young people do not know their own traditional language, but they can speak the basic Korean language.

Thus

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this

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change should be tackled before the youth dive into the deep level of modern

culture

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. To conclude, I strongly believe that traditional

culture

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should be preserved and has contributed to shaping our values and behaviour towards

life

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. Both cultures always can be walked together in our daily activities, but could not be separated.

febriantyhasanah

Jan 14, 2023

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Word Count

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A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

393 words

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