Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

It is often argued that there are some
children
who are spending
thier
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their
time
on their smartphones
everyday
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every day
show examples
. In my opinion,the growth of smartphone usage
time
for
children
has more harmful effects than its benefits.
First
of all,
children
who spend their whole
time
on their smartphones are likely to lack
of
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apply
show examples
social bonding in real life. If they
are stick
Change the verb form
are sticking
are stuck
show examples
to their
phones
for a long
time
, they are unlikely to meet and hang out with their
friends
at
play grounds
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playgrounds
show examples
or in central parks.
Also
, they would feel more comfortable and pleasure when they are with their
friends
on the internet rather than
friends
in real life. If these bad situations are continued, they will be likely to lose bonding with their family and
friends
.
For example
, many kids who appeared on TV shows because of their social ability issues had common in being addicted to their
phones
and not being willing to meet their
friends
from their schools. That's why I believe that
children
's being
stick
Wrong verb form
stuck
show examples
to
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in
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their schools has more disadvantages.
Second
,
children
who are addicted to their
phones
have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
little ability
of
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to
show examples
creativity and
studying
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study
show examples
. When they are on
phones
, they are unlikely to think and have ideas of something since they just watch videos that are made by other people or play games which can
be pretty violate
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be pretty violated
show examples
for immature kids.
As a result
,
thier
Correct your spelling
their
brains stop thinking deeply and become hardened. It leads to big damage when it comes to their grades in their school.
For instance
, there are several studies that students who are used to
spen
Correct your spelling
spend
their every
time
on
thier
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their
phones
have gotten more
fails
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failings
show examples
than students who aren't.
Thus
it can't be denied that spending much
time
on
thier
Correct your spelling
their
devices
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
unfavorable
Change the spelling
unfavourable
show examples
situations. In conclusion, I strongly believe that
increasing
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the increasing
show examples
number of
children
who are addicted to their
phones
is a very risky trend because they are more and more lacking social bonding in their life, and they are becoming reverse people of geniuses.
Submitted by ksl4308 on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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