Some people believe that teaching music in schools is a vital part of growing up and human experience whilst others believe that teaching music in schools is a waste of time and resources Discuss both these views and give your opinion

The
subjects
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which a student should be taught in school is always a debatable topic,
therefore
it is argued that
subjects
like
music
should be removed from the syllabus and give space for more useful
subjects
. It is my belief that the advantages of
keep
Change the verb form
keeping
show examples
music
as a mandatory subject in school outweigh the disadvantages and
music
as a subject must be a priority
among
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in
show examples
the syllabus.
Music
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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usually
fall
Correct subject-verb agreement
falls
show examples
under the artistic area,
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
means that people tend to underestimate the impact of
this
topic,
moreover
, now people wrongly believe that the system
education
Change preposition
of education
show examples
can omit
this
critical area, but the importance of
music
and artistic
subjects
in general
Add the comma(s)
, in general,
show examples
cannot be diminished, mainly because they allow creativity to flourish and imagination to develop. Undoubtedly, there are compelling arguments against
music
as a subject in school.
Nevertheless
, from my experience and to give an example, I was taught to play the guitar
since
Correct word choice
when
show examples
I was 10 years old and
this
helped me to develop more ways to interact and to see the world from a different perspective of view, allowing me to think outside the box and often escape from reality through
this
method. To sum up,
although
the role of critical and objective
subjects
such
as mathematics and science are critical for a
child
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child's
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development, arts
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
as important as a rationally-based education,
thus
,
music
must continue as an important part of a
child
Change noun form
child's
show examples
development and offer
a
Remove the article
apply
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creative thinking among kids.
Submitted by Davidf_moreno on

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Fully explain your ideas

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental
  • instilling
  • discipline
  • team work
  • emotional intelligence
  • stress relief
  • well-rounded
  • allocated
  • STEM subjects
  • practical
  • job market
  • detract
  • core subjects
  • enhance
  • cognitive functions
  • curriculum
  • vital
  • enriching
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