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Band 2.5

Although there are valid arguments to the cantrary, in this paper I will argue that the government should control the amount of violence in films and on TV in order to control violent crimes in society. I definitely agree with this statement.

#arguments #cantrary #paper #government #control #amount #violence #films #tv #crimes #society
First
 of all, it is vitally important that nowadays the amount of violence and
violents
Correct your spelling
violence
violent
 are dramatically increasing. To
way
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the way
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 of my thinking, the best
way
 to decrease
crimes
 is
showing
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to show
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 the consequences of committing
crimes
 on TV to people. I am sure most people would agree with my opinion. Because if children know what
consequences
Correct article usage
the consequences
show examples
 will be after committing
crimes
. I personally believe that it has actually made the world a much better place.
Secondly
 and more importantly, I think that it has
Correct article usage
a negative
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negative
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negatively
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affected
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affect
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 on our lives.
For instance
, some children may
does
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not aware
with
Change preposition
of
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 methods
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 crime like stealing. After knowing the methods they can steal easily. Because showing the situation fully is important to
produsers
Correct your spelling
producers
. For
this
 reason, I think that government need to control the amount of violence and violent
crimes
 in society. It must be neither full
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
nor without consequences.
To
Change preposition
Way
show examples
way
Add an article
the way
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 of my conclusion, I reiterate my position that government need to control the amount of violence and violent
crimes
 in society. It is useful both for us and the government.
This
 is
vast
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a vast
show examples
 oversimplification of the statement. I believe that the hard
way
 is sometimes the best
way
.
Submitted by asqar4997 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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