IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Money cannot buy you happiness. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #happiness
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It is a really common idea in today's society, that people don'
t
Use synonyms
 need to have
money
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 to be happy. I believe that
money
Use synonyms
 plays a crucial factor in a person's
life
Use synonyms
 and that their happiness is totally associated with them. In the modern world, advancements in technology have made
life
Use synonyms
 easier for humans.
Someone
Use synonyms
 who affords to have a car, own a house and have technological gadgets to help him do as little as possible, is way happier and without anxiety than
someone
Use synonyms
 who doesn'
t
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 have even half of these. To underpin the previous argument, the following example can be provided. An adult, who is paying for his house, doesn'
t
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 have a car and can'
t
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 afford to have any fancy electronic gadget, will feel marginalised and incapable even if he is healthy and have by his side the persons he loves.
Hence
Linking Words
,
money
Use synonyms
 gives status and making possible to have everything you can dream of.
Money
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 can
also
Linking Words
 be used for good reasons. From the smallest thing, like a present to
someone
Use synonyms
 you love, to the biggest one, like a donation to an organisation or
Correct article usage
the
show examples
adoption of a child, can truly fill you emotionally with happiness. Without
money
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, you can'
t
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 help anyone and you just watch them without having anything to do.
For instance
Linking Words
,
someone
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 who really loves children would really feel full of joy if he affords to fund an organisation about children with disabilities and make their wishes come true.
Thus
Linking Words
, I reckon that if
money
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 is used for good reasons, it can change not only your
life
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 but
also
Linking Words
 others'
life
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 too. In conclusion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that
money
Use synonyms
 can buy happiness if you utilise them properly. When it's about making your
life
Use synonyms
 become easier or making the lives of other people better,
then
Linking Words
 in my opinion
money
Use synonyms
 matters and without them nothing would be the same.
Submitted by tsouptsis on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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