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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place
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The debate about whether
parents
 or
schools
 are more responsible for teaching
children
 to be good members of society continues to divide opinions. Some believe that
parents
 should take on
this
 responsibility,
while
 others argue that
schools
 are better equipped for
this
 role. In my view, both
parents
 and
schools
 play essential roles, and a combination of their efforts is ideal. On the one hand,
parents
 are central to a child’s early development. Since
children
 spend most of their formative years at home,
parents
 have a unique opportunity to
instill
Change the spelling
instil
show examples
 important values
such
 as respect, honesty, and compassion.
For instance
, by observing their
parents
’
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
,
children
 can learn to share, be polite, and act responsibly.
Furthermore
,
parents
 have the ability to personalize their teaching methods based on their child’s needs, which can be more effective than a general approach used in
schools
. As role models,
parents
 profoundly influence their
children
’s moral and ethical growth.
On the other hand
,
schools
 offer a structured environment where
children
 can develop social skills and learn to work collaboratively with others. Through group projects, sports, and extracurricular activities, students gain valuable experiences in teamwork, problem-solving, and leadership.
For example
, participating in debates or environmental programs teaches
children
 the importance of respecting diverse perspectives and contributing to the community.
Additionally
,
schools
 often have dedicated curriculums that focus on teaching civic responsibilities,
such
 as equality, justice, and sustainability, which are crucial in today’s society. In conclusion, both
parents
 and
schools
 play vital roles in shaping socially responsible individuals.
While
parents
 provide the foundation for values at home,
schools
 expand these lessons through real-world experiences and broader societal education. A partnership between the two ensures that
children
 grow into well-rounded and conscientious members of society.
Submitted by mahmoudbenjawad on

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coherence
Ensure that each paragraph focuses clearly on one main idea to maintain clarity and avoid any confusion.
task achievement
While your response is well-rounded, consider adding more specific examples to further strengthen your arguments.
coherence
The essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion that effectively address the topic.
task achievement
The main points are relevant and supported with examples, showing a solid grasp of the subject matter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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