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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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The debate about whether
parents
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 or
schools
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 are more responsible for teaching
children
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 to be good members of society continues to divide opinions. Some believe that
parents
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 should take on
this
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 responsibility,
while
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 others argue that
schools
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 are better equipped for
this
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 role. In my view, both
parents
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 and
schools
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 play essential roles, and a combination of their efforts is ideal. On the one hand,
parents
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 are central to a child’s early development. Since
children
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 spend most of their formative years at home,
parents
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 have a unique opportunity to
instill
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instil
show examples
 important values
such
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 as respect, honesty, and compassion.
For instance
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, by observing their
parents
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’
behavior
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behaviour
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,
children
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 can learn to share, be polite, and act responsibly.
Furthermore
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,
parents
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 have the ability to personalize their teaching methods based on their child’s needs, which can be more effective than a general approach used in
schools
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. As role models,
parents
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 profoundly influence their
children
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’s moral and ethical growth.
On the other hand
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,
schools
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 offer a structured environment where
children
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 can develop social skills and learn to work collaboratively with others. Through group projects, sports, and extracurricular activities, students gain valuable experiences in teamwork, problem-solving, and leadership.
For example
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, participating in debates or environmental programs teaches
children
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 the importance of respecting diverse perspectives and contributing to the community.
Additionally
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,
schools
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 often have dedicated curriculums that focus on teaching civic responsibilities,
such
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 as equality, justice, and sustainability, which are crucial in today’s society. In conclusion, both
parents
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 and
schools
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 play vital roles in shaping socially responsible individuals.
While
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parents
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 provide the foundation for values at home,
schools
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 expand these lessons through real-world experiences and broader societal education. A partnership between the two ensures that
children
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 grow into well-rounded and conscientious members of society.

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coherence
Ensure that each paragraph focuses clearly on one main idea to maintain clarity and avoid any confusion.
task achievement
While your response is well-rounded, consider adding more specific examples to further strengthen your arguments.
coherence
The essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion that effectively address the topic.
task achievement
The main points are relevant and supported with examples, showing a solid grasp of the subject matter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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