IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #leisure #time #activities #mind #word #puzzles #rest
The way
people
 spend their free
time
 is not similar. There are
people
 who love to still do hustles in their leisure
time
such
 as reading and doing
brain
 treasure games in
order
 to excel in their
brain
.
On the other hand
, there are
people
 who tend to put their minds at ease while enjoying their spare
time
. I strongly believe that every
people
 have their own consideration for deciding how to spend their downtime.
First
 of all, In my opinion spending downtime doing particular activities in
order
 to advance the performance of the
brain
 is a nice idea as long as it is still a reasonable way. Reading self-development books and playing challenging games are examples.
In addition
, These kinds of activities support us to keep actively training our brains to think and try something in
order
 to solve some problems and make quick decisions, since some video games need us to defeat the enemies quickly using the appropriate strategy in a given particular
time
. As the result, we can cope with the problems in our life situation and make better steps ahead because we get used to doing it.
However
, I suppose that we still need downtime to give their
brain
 at ease.
Furthermore
, enjoying all of your free
time
 by not doing anything is preferable for some
people
. In my perspective, these sorts of
people
 wish that they can do something they miss when they work or study. Most of them are expected to deeply take rest in their leisure
time
 in
order
 to give them both physical and mental calm. To summarize, I believe that every person's tendency
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the way
people
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 their free
time
 is selected by their own necessity and they
also
 have been considering
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the result of
this
 action in advance in
order
 to benefit themselves.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive abilities
  • mental stagnation
  • intellectually stimulating
  • relaxation
  • meditation
  • stress reduction
  • overall well-being
  • personal development
  • life satisfaction
  • sense of achievement
  • emotional balance
  • peace of mind
  • scientific evidence
  • memory
  • learning
  • creativity
  • emotional regulation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: