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Writing Samples
Band 2.5

The charts below give information about attendance at entertainment venues and admission prices to those venues in 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#information #attendance #entertainment #venues #admission #prices #summarise #features #comparisons
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The chart illustrates the participation at three different venues and the table shows a variety of prices of the given places in the year 2009. Overall, It can be seen that cinemas were the most popular places for
entartainment
Correct your spelling
entertainment
 and the highest price per ticket was for the football game - AFL. In the
first
Linking Words
 chart, more than 1000 people attended cinemas.
In contrast
Linking Words
, just under 200 humans went to sports venues for entertainment.
In addition
Linking Words
, theme parks were the
second
Linking Words
popular
Correct quantifier usage
most popular
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 place to visit, which was at around 350 people. In the table,
football
Correct article usage
the football
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 game - AFL made up the biggest price ticket both per person and for a family of four which were75$ and 298$ respectively. Meanwhile, the cheapest ticket can be seen visiting a cinema and
cost
Correct subject-verb agreement
costs
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 15$ per person and 55$ for a family group. Most of the prices of events for a
four member
Add a hyphen
four-member
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 family were cheaper than
individual
Add an article
an individual
show examples
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
, compared to the kind of event, except for theme parks event.
Submitted by katerinaandrusenko2003.2003 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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