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Band 5

MANY DEVELOPING COUNTRIES PLACE A LOT OF IMPORTANCE ON TOURISM WHY IS THIS? DO YOU THINK THIS IS A POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE DEVELOPMENT?

#countries #place #importance #tourism #development
Numerous evolving nations consider
to contribute
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contributing
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 on
tourist
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the tourist
show examples
 industry. As
this
 is
one
 of the most important
factor
Change to a plural noun
factors
show examples
 for their growth. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 it is a pragmatic
enlargment
Correct your spelling
enlargement
 for any country .
This
 essay will
further
 elaborate
the
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on the
show examples
 points supporting my opinion. The foremost benefit of
this
sector
 is it provides
empolyment
Correct your spelling
employment
. The local artist and vendors who do not get the
opprotunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 to showcase their talents to the world get their livelihoods by selling popular items to the sightseers. Not only they are globalizing their
cultutres
Correct your spelling
cultures
culture
 but
also
, they are contributing
in
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to
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 the development of
GDP
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the GDP
show examples
 of the country . To illustrate an example , patola work in Patan Gujarat is having
a
Correct article usage
apply
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worldwide
recognisation
Correct your spelling
recognition
 for
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
uinque
Correct your spelling
unique
 handwoven sarees. Many tourists around the world purchase these sarees from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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workers for lakhs of rupees. Another
factor
 which helps the country to grow because of
this
sector
 is
enhancement
Add an article
the enhancement
an enhancement
show examples
 of social
gathering
Fix the agreement mistake
gatherings
show examples
. As more people around the world visit not only to
rejunivate
Correct your spelling
reunite
rejuvenate
 themselves but
also
 to learn about the traditions and culture which enhances the history of any nation .
Moreover
, it helps them to bond with people and respect towards them in society increases. New technological advancement promotes the beauty of any city
extravagently
Correct your spelling
extravagantly
,
furthermore
Add a comma
,furthermore
show examples
this
 is
one
 more
factor
 to bolster my opinion . Any new development in the nation which are innovative as well as artistic attracts the eyes towards the monument. To cite an example in Dubai there are numerous buildings which are not only technologically advanced but are innovative in their structure , recently a new feather in their cap is called as "
Museumof
Correct your spelling
Museum of
 the Future" because of
this
 building the income generated through
tourisium
Correct your spelling
tourism
 has increased upto 2 times . Apart from
this
Add a comma
,this
show examples
 our future generation will get
the
Correct article usage
apply
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benefit from the income generated through
this
 industry if
this
 money will be used for the betterment of
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
 and
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
sector
 .
This
 will creates
eminent
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an eminent
the eminent
show examples
 amount of opportunities for them so they can live in a better place . In
conculsion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
one
 should let the tourist
sector
 grow and flourish and be the
contrubuiting
Correct your spelling
contributing
factor
 as it is very important for preserving not only our present but
aslo
Correct your spelling
also
one
's future .
Submitted by hadialakdawala on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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