The best manager is one who is warm and friendly with their staff. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
İn the
last
Linking Words
period, many companies announced their new legislation or new regulations. İn terms of employees , it means some complications in their companies. Working life is getting forced year by year so Many employees take
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
care their staffs. I agree with
this
Linking Words
question mark.
Whole
Correct article usage
The whole
show examples
organization in a company is determined previously.
İf
Add the punctuation
İf,
show examples
you are only responsible in the organization, you would need to be
warm-hearted
Add an article
a warm-hearted
the warm-hearted
show examples
person. But
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
many American work models were not allowed
to
Change preposition
by
show examples
their managers in order to be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
friends with
staff
Add an article
the staff
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
means putting a distance between people. Even though a manager would like to be a best
friends
Fix the agreement mistake
friend
show examples
,
these system
Change the determiner
this system
these systems
show examples
will not be admitted. Especially in
such
Linking Words
an
Correct article usage
a
show examples
European
countries
Fix the agreement mistake
country
show examples
, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
a great deal of people who
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the cold relationships with each other. Kind of
diverse
Correct article usage
a diverse
show examples
country,
this
Linking Words
model might be accepted. İf you are
Spanish
Correct article usage
a Spanish
show examples
or
Greece
Correct your spelling
Greek
show examples
person, you might probably be assertive or strong-willed. You feel like a Superman. İn
this
Linking Words
,case you are not able to adapt to the system which is imposed by your company.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Improve the overall structure by clearly defining your introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Make sure each paragraph contains one main idea and supports your argument clearly.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your claims about managerial styles and their impact on employee relationships. This will strengthen your argument and make it more persuasive.
task achievement
Clarify your stance on the topic at the beginning of your essay. Instead of stating that you agree with a question mark, assert your position clearly and confidently.
language accuracy
Focus on correcting grammatical errors and improving vocabulary to enhance readability and professionalism in your writing.
task achievement
You present a unique perspective by considering different cultural contexts in management styles.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster
  • teamwork
  • collaboration
  • approachable
  • job satisfaction
  • turnover
  • blur professional boundaries
  • favoritism
  • authority
  • productive relationships
  • disciplined
  • focused teams
  • adapt
  • team dynamics
  • formality
What to do next:
Look at other essays: