Some people say the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is thought
by
some Change preposition
apply
people
that building more sport
Change the noun form
sports
facilities
is the optimal way to encourage the general public to exercise
and better the
public Correct article usage
apply
health
, while others believe different measures are needed to promote healthy
lifestyle. In my opinion, Add an article
a healthy
although
accessibility to facilities
is important, it is not enough to improve the health
of general
public.
According to some, building many and various kinds of Add an article
the general
sport
Change the noun form
sports
facilities
such
as gyms, stadiums, courts and resorts plays a crucial role in improving public health
. People
should be given the opportunity to have available space to get movement and exercise
into their daily routine. Only two gyms for a town of five thousand people
does not provide enough space and accessibility for all to benefit from the sport
services, which can easily be used as an excuse by Change the noun form
sports
people
to continue to have sedentary
lifestyle. Add an article
a sedentary
Furthermore
, seeing other people
using these facilities
and leading healthy lives can be an encouragement per se.
On the other hand
, it is not an evident guarantee that with adequate
number of Change the article
an adequate
the adequate
facilities
Add a comma
,facilities
people
will participate in sport
activities. Personally, I have three gyms in my Change the noun form
sports
neighborhood
alone, and even though it is very convenient, and seeing other Change the spelling
neighbourhood
people
hit the gym motivates me to do the same, it is only for a brief moment. I believe other measures, such
as providing monthly check-ups and free trials in the existing facilities
could solve the problem. Leading sedentary lives eventually catches up with people
’s health
, and seeing the detrimental effects it can have on a personal level through check-ups would be an effective way to motivate people
to exercise
. Through free trials in the sport
Change the noun form
sports
facilities
, people
can have a chance to try different types of sports and see what is more pleasure
for them to stay consistent with.
In conclusion, having Replace the word
pleasurable
sport
Change the noun form
sports
facilities
equal to the amount of population
is an important step towards improving public Correct article usage
the population
health
, but it is not enough by itself as an encouragement to do
Unnecessary verb
apply
exercise
. Steps such
as monthly check-up
and free trials bear the power of motivation Fix the agreement mistake
check-ups
people
need to lead healthy lives.Submitted by turalabdulsamad on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite