IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

#museums #charge #admission #people
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Huge
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A huge
The huge
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 number of
museums
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 require payment for entrance, while some of them are free of charge. I think the benefits of charging a fee,
such
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 as being the source of funding for
museum’s
Correct article usage
the museum’s
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 budget and increasing people’s attentiveness towards valuables exceed the possible drawbacks it has. Admittedly, one of the main complaints from people who enjoy going to
museums
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 is how expensive the charges can be. The
museums
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 are the primary attraction for families and tourists.
Although
Linking Words
 some discounts are provided for children, it is still highly costly to pay for multiple family members upon every visit. It is equally difficult for tourists to afford those payments, as they usually have to spend a lot of their money
for
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on
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 essentials,
such
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food
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as food
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 and transport.
Although
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 the fees can be considered expensive for those who visit often with family members, and those who are on a tight budget, it serves some great advantages for
museums
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. Some
museums
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 do not receive any funding from the government;
thus
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, they rely on private contributions and entrance fees. The funding they collect is spent towards the infrastructure and services they provide. Through these services,
museums
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 can expand the collection of their valuables which ultimately, will present a better experience for its visitors.
Furthermore
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, these fees can serve as a psychological strategy inclining to be more careful towards the items in the museum. Everyone who has been to a museum has seen the “do not touch” sign in front of almost every item.
Human
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The human
A human
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 mind can be tricked into thinking that if a visit requires money, the things that
museum
Correct article usage
the museum
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 carries must be
important
Correct quantifier usage
more important
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 than those which are free. Damage to the historically weighted items can result in the elimination of
cultural
Correct article usage
the cultural
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 heritage they convey.
Thus
Linking Words
, the issue of protection is bigger than the functioning of
museums
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, it is a culturally crucial matter. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 some
museums
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 can be frowned upon for their expenses, the benefits of those few dollars actually are crucial for
better
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a better
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 experience
,
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apply
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 and assist in protecting culturally valuable items.
Submitted by turalabdulsamad on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fee
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Overcrowding
  • Commercialization
  • Cultural heritage
  • Diverse attendance
  • Community ownership
  • Access to culture
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit quality
  • Cultural mission
  • Reliance on funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Cultural accessibility
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