IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Should governments make decisions about people’s lifestyle, or should people make their own decisions?

#governments #decisions #people’s #lifestyle #people
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For a long period of time, there have been diverse ways of governing communities. Particularly, some believe that governments should be the ones making
decisions
Use synonyms
, while others oppose the statement and consider it important to allow
individual’s
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individual
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 freedom of choice. In terms of
this
Linking Words
 issue,
this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both points of view. On the one hand, ruling a community only through the government’s
decisions
Use synonyms
 may be easy to maintain a
society
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.
This
Linking Words
 is because various connections among
people
Use synonyms
 would be well maintained through
intervention
Add an article
the intervention
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 of the authority. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
, when the government establishes a law restricting
quarrel
Fix the agreement mistake
quarrels
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 between
people
Use synonyms
, folks having clearer relationships are an expectable result, in that they would avoid arguing with other
people
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, at some points, governmental intervention is necessary.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, letting a person make his or her own choice
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 more benefits for themselves and the entire
society
Use synonyms
.
First
Linking Words
 of all, as
people
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 choose what they want, they become happy.
Secondly
Linking Words
, when they make their own
decisions
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, they learn responsibilities and
thus
Linking Words
, become mature.
For instance
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, according to some articles,
people
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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democratic societies have chances
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their
decisions
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, and
therefore
Linking Words
 are more satisfied
about
Change the preposition
with
show examples
 their lives than others. They put more effort
on
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 because they made
decisions
Use synonyms
 on their
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
. What is more, it is
also
Linking Words
 reported that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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whole communities
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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benefited
with
Change preposition
from
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 intelligent
people
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 and various advanced technology.
Therefore
Linking Words
, freedom of decision is important for everyone. In a nutshell, with an authority involved, maintaining a
society
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 is easier, whereas allowing one freedom of
choices
Fix the agreement mistake
choice
show examples
 is advantageous for the individuals and
society
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. With these being said, the government is asked to introduce diverse options and opportunities for the citizen, while trying to make
essential
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an essential
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intervention
Fix the agreement mistake
interventions
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 at the same time.
Submitted by rlacofla99 on

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