IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowdays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

#nowdays #people #work #company #organisation #be #case
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In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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modern times, some people are more interested to have their own
business
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of being employed by
companies
Use synonyms
 or organisations. In my viewpoint, it stemmed from limitations that are
presenting
Wrong verb form
presented
show examples
 as rules in
companies
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. I am
also
Linking Words
 convinced that a private
business
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 poses a wide range of threats to people. From my personal perspective, one of the most important
part
Change to a plural noun
parts
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 of job satisfaction roots
from
Change preposition
in
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 a sense of freedom. While
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 most
companies
Use synonyms
 do not care about employees' feelings. Traditional
managements
Correct your spelling
management
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 usually
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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focuse
Correct your spelling
focused
focus
 on profits.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they expect their employees to work overtime. In
this
Linking Words
 kind of
organisations
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,organisations
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 staffs
have
Add a missing verb
do have
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 not enough room to
develope
Correct your spelling
develop
 their
creativities
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creativity
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. They are busy with tiring routine
works
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work
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. There is
not
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no
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sense
Add an article
a sense
the sense
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 of respect, progress, or
achievment
Correct your spelling
achievement
achieved
 through these jobs. Due to the fact that job satisfaction is not about payment, people leave their jobs in order to follow their dreams by setting up their own firms. I
further
Linking Words
 believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 starting a
business
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 means a wide range of responsibilities, hard
working
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work
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, and financial issues. When you are a member of an organisation, you do not have more responsibility than your own pacific projects.
However
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, as an owner of a firm, you will face a vast number of issues. Regular costs, taxes, salaries of workers, and
also
Linking Words
 you need to have vital skills
such
Linking Words
 as good
interpersonals
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interpersonal
 and strong leadership skills. These issues may
causes
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cause
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 you
lost
Change the verb form
to lose
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 all
leisure
Correct pronoun usage
your leisure
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times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
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.
Although
Linking Words
 it could give
a
Correct pronoun usage
you a
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chance to grow in your career and
being
Wrong verb form
be
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experiented
Correct your spelling
experienced
, it is full of risks. In conclusion,
as a result
Linking Words
 of being deprived of freedom and space to expand creativity in
companies
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, individuals prefer to have their own
Use synonyms
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
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.
However
Linking Words
, from my perspective,
this
Linking Words
 choice makes a large number of threats, especially
financially
Change the word
financial
show examples
 ones.
Submitted by reychitect on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • entrepreneur
  • freelancer
  • work-life balance
  • flexibility
  • income potential
  • financial risk
  • job security
  • benefits
  • employee benefits
  • investment
  • overworking
  • self-employed
  • traditional employment
What to do next:
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