Nowdays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern times, some people are more interested to have their own
business
instead
of being employed by
companies
or organisations. In my viewpoint, it stemmed from limitations that are
presenting
Wrong verb form
presented
show examples
as rules in
companies
. I am
also
convinced that a private
business
poses a wide range of threats to people. From my personal perspective, one of the most important
part
Change to a plural noun
parts
show examples
of job satisfaction roots
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
a sense of freedom. While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
most
companies
do not care about employees' feelings. Traditional
managements
Correct your spelling
management
show examples
usually
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
focuse
Correct your spelling
focused
focus
on profits.
Consequently
, they expect their employees to work overtime. In
this
kind of
organisations
Add a comma
,organisations
show examples
staffs
have
Add a missing verb
do have
show examples
not enough room to
develope
Correct your spelling
develop
their
creativities
Replace the word
creativity
show examples
. They are busy with tiring routine
works
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work
show examples
. There is
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
sense
Add an article
a sense
the sense
show examples
of respect, progress, or
achievment
Correct your spelling
achievement
achieved
through these jobs. Due to the fact that job satisfaction is not about payment, people leave their jobs in order to follow their dreams by setting up their own firms. I
further
believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
starting a
business
means a wide range of responsibilities, hard
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
, and financial issues. When you are a member of an organisation, you do not have more responsibility than your own pacific projects.
However
, as an owner of a firm, you will face a vast number of issues. Regular costs, taxes, salaries of workers, and
also
you need to have vital skills
such
as good
interpersonals
Correct your spelling
interpersonal
and strong leadership skills. These issues may
causes
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cause
show examples
you
lost
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to lose
show examples
all
leisure
Correct pronoun usage
your leisure
show examples
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
.
Although
it could give
a
Correct pronoun usage
you a
show examples
chance to grow in your career and
being
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
experiented
Correct your spelling
experienced
, it is full of risks. In conclusion,
as a result
of being deprived of freedom and space to expand creativity in
companies
, individuals prefer to have their own
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
.
However
, from my perspective,
this
choice makes a large number of threats, especially
financially
Change the word
financial
show examples
ones.
Submitted by reychitect on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • entrepreneur
  • freelancer
  • work-life balance
  • flexibility
  • income potential
  • financial risk
  • job security
  • benefits
  • employee benefits
  • investment
  • overworking
  • self-employed
  • traditional employment
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