Some people feel that entertainer (e.g film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid?

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Introduction

A big number of people suppose that celebrities

such

Linking Words

as film

stars

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, pop musicians or sports

stars

Use synonyms

are paid too much

money

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. Others think that entertainers receive fair salaries. These two ideas have as many advantages as disadvantages.

Body paragraph 1

On the one hand,

stars

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bring to companies more revenue than their wages.

For instance

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, Cristiano Ronaldo's contract with Nike brings

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the brand more potential clients so their

incomes

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could become higher because the company uses the image and personal fan base of the football star to generate more

money

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This

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deal is useful to both sides, Ronaldo has a massive contract,

then

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Nike has higher

incomes

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Moreover

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, people prepare to spend

a significant amounts

Correct the article-noun agreement

a significant amount

significant amounts

show examples

money

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on entertainment because it makes them happy. Entertainers are people who give us happiness so individuals do not spare

money

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on concerts or films,

this

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factor increases revenue from

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stars

Change noun form

stars'

star's

show examples

images.

Body paragraph 2

On the other hand

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celebrity's

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celebrity

show examples

work is not vital as doctors who receive less

money

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. According to that, a big number of individuals fully believe that entertainers are overpaid for no reason.

For example

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, the work of a celebrity could not save your life or educate you so

this

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opinion is quite logical.

Furthermore

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, sportsmen are not so educated to receive

such

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huge

incomes

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because they will use

this

Linking Words

money

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incorrectly and will encourage the growth of prices.

Conclusion

In conclusion, I think that celebrities get fair wages because they generate more

money

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and make us happy.

However

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, other specialities

such

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as doctors or teachers deserve higher

incomes

Use synonyms

dominikskorbus

Jan 15, 2023

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Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

revenue generation
societal contributions
public scrutiny
unique skill set
economical impact
market demand
intrinsic value
entertainment industry
essential services
odd hours

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Some people feel that entertainer (e.g film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid?

some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do agree or dis agree ?.

Some people think that planning for the future is a waste of time. They believe it is more important to focus on the present. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

I write the formal letter to borrow from a neighbour for a day

nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. why might this be the case? what could be the disadvantages of being self-employed

Some people think that students should focus on a few subjects, while others believe that students should study a wide range of subjects. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.