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Writing Samples
Band 5

Today more and more people are using mobile phones and computers. Thus, people are losing the ability to communicate face to face.

#people #phones #computers #ability #face
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Someone believes that
people
Use synonyms
 are losing the ability to communicate
face
Use synonyms
 to
face
Use synonyms
 since they are using mobile phones and computers more than
the
Change preposition
in the
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 past. I would argue that I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement,
my
Correct word choice
and my
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 opinions will be discussed
as
Change preposition
for
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 the following reasons. Nowadays, there are more methods of
communications
Fix the agreement mistake
communication
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 available, especially mobile phones and computers.
Although
Linking Words
people
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use
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 more these new technologies, they are still can see each other while talking.
Similarly
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, talking to each other in person,
people
Use synonyms
 can see faces while speaking to their families or friends by using
cellphones
Correct your spelling
cell phones
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, they can video call or FaceTime.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
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 they can
use
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 applications
such
Linking Words
 as Zoom, Microsoft Teams and
Skypes
Fix the agreement mistake
Skype
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 to call
whoever
Change the pronoun
whomever
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 they desire to see faces and talk to.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I disagree that
people
Use synonyms
 can communicate
Use synonyms
face to
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
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face
Use synonyms
 less when they
use
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 either their mobile phones or computers. In
additions
Fix the agreement mistake
addition
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, unlike in the past,
currently
Add a comma
,currently
show examples
people
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 are able to get closer without waiting for a long time to receive
the
Correct article usage
apply
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letters from their families, relatives, friends or customers. These
day
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days
show examples
people
Use synonyms
are not only interface
Change the verb form
are not only interfacing
are not only interfaced
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 faster, but they can
also
Linking Words
 get closer since they
use
Use synonyms
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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either smart gadgets or laptops.
Hence
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 new technologies provide more conveniences for
long distance
Add a hyphen
long-distance
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 communication.
As a result
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 of the availability of these types of devices,
people
Use synonyms
 can connect and see faces even though they live far away from each
Use synonyms
others
Change to a singular noun
other
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.
Consequently
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, I do believe that
people
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 still can reach out better with these hi-tech
equipments
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equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
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. In conclusion, new technologies
such
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 as iPhone, iPad or
Mcbook
Correct your spelling
MacBook
 not only be alternatives for
people
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 to contact
to
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apply
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each other,
they
Correct word choice
but they
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also
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 help
people
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 to connect better. With helping of these devices,
people
Use synonyms
 not only can see and understand
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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each
Use synonyms
others
Change to a singular noun
other
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, but they can
also
Linking Words
 have
to
Replace the word
too
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 many options to connect to anyone regardless
how
Change preposition
of how
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 far they stay from each
Use synonyms
others
Change to a singular noun
other
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. For that
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
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reasons
Add a comma
,reasons
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 I disagree that
people
Use synonyms
 are losing
ability
Add an article
the ability
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 to communicate
face
Use synonyms
 to
face
Use synonyms
 by using
high
Replace the word
highly
show examples
 technological appliances, but actually they have more abilities to connect and see each
Use synonyms
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
 because of using these devices.
Submitted by vollesunita on

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Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • erosion
  • interpersonal skills
  • overreliance
  • digital communication platforms
  • convenience
  • efficiency
  • social bonds
  • enhance
  • bridging long distances
  • fostering connections
  • age groups
  • adept
  • integrating
  • landscape
  • emotional intelligence
  • nuances
  • striking a balance
  • limitations
What to do next:
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