Some countries are struggling with an increase in the rate of crime. Many people think that having more police on the streets is the only way to reduce these increasing levels of crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #rate #crime #people #police #streets #levels

In some nations, the everyday

crime

rate increasing. Some

people

think more

police

officers

on the street is the key to the

crime

rate. I disagree with

this

view

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because

Change the capitalization

show examples

suggest

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

should tighten the law. I think

this

role can reduce

crime

First

of all, In many countries

crime

is growing. Because,

people

can'

find suits

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

, and they won'

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

learn high education but its too expensive for those

people

. So, they start committing crimes to earn money.

For example

, their loved

people

are hungry, and they don'

have any food. They start stealing food from the store. In the

beginng

Correct your spelling

beginning

this

crime

is small but a

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

few months after

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

crime

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

growing

in the end

Add the comma(s)

, in the end,

show examples

this

crime

is too big and they can'

replace what they did. Other

people

think

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

they need more

police

officers

standing outside.

Thus

, they believe to reduce

crime

Thus

, criminals will start doing their crimes very secretly.

This

is bad for humanity because

police

officers

can'

find

crime

and need a long time. Some

people

are afraid of

police

officers

but others don'

Police

officers

should necessary to constantly deliver recommendations to prevent crimes before they occur. In conclusion, some countries struggled

increased

Change preposition

with increased

show examples

crime

rates. But others think need for more

police

officer

Fix the agreement mistake

officers

show examples

. In my opinion, if government tighten the law.

Crime

could be reduced.

Submitted by jenny.bat99 on Mon Jan 16 2023

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

226 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some countries are struggling with an increase in the rate of crime. Many people think that having more police on the streets is the only way to reduce these increasing levels of crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required?

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of aging populations.

In the future, it seems more difficult to live on Earth. Some people think more money should be spent researching other planets, such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some scientists believe that in the future computers will be more intelligent than human beings. While some see this as a positive development others worry about the negative consequences.