Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements and this sets a bad example to the young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #sets #people

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is true that most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

celebrities

Use synonyms

are well known for their luxurious

lifestyle

Use synonyms

than for their talent or performance nowadays. The majority of

people

Use synonyms

believe that

this

Linking Words

kind of attitude is not a good example for the younger generation. I am inclined to believe that

this

Linking Words

kind of

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

would be a bad example for society.

However

Linking Words

, there are other famous

people

Use synonyms

who are popular for their outstanding acting or voice . On the one hand, it is a fact that many famous

people

Use synonyms

become popular due to their fancy

lifestyle

Use synonyms

instead

Linking Words

of their outstanding

achievement

Fix the agreement mistake

achievements

show examples

these days. Their talent might be standard or below the average, but they are making

sensation

Correct article usage

a sensation

show examples

to the public by showing their wealth and glamour

lifestyle

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

famous

Correct article usage

the famous

show examples

American Kardasian-Jenner family who are recognized for their reality television program. In

this

Linking Words

show

Add a comma

,show

show examples

they are showing luxurious mansions, parties and

shopaholic

Correct article usage

a shopaholic

show examples

lifestyle

Use synonyms

. It is believed that

such

Linking Words

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

would have

negative

Correct article usage

a negative

show examples

influence

for

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

young

people

Use synonyms

and teach them

incorrect

Correct article usage

an incorrect

show examples

style of life.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there are

celebrities

Use synonyms

who are popular for their incredible acting or

stanning

Correct your spelling

stunning

voice. These

people

Use synonyms

have shown to the world that they have achieved success due to strong determination and diligence, and the public will always remember them for their

masterpiece

Fix the agreement mistake

masterpieces

show examples

and great achievements.

For instance

Linking Words

, actor and producer Jim Carrey

Change the verb form

are

show examples

famous for his rubbery body movements and flexible facial expressions. Before getting the lead role and becoming famous, countless failures were waiting for him. Despite all

this

Linking Words

, he did not give up and now he is one of the most popular

comedian

Replace the word

comedy

show examples

actors today. In conclusion, even if there are several

celebrities

Use synonyms

who are well known for their wealth, expensive apartments and fancy style of life, there are other

celebrities

Use synonyms

who are famous due to their great talent. In my opinion, I think the public should be more selective in choosing their role models, not just in front of the camera, but we should

also

Linking Words

see

from

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their personal life as well.

Submitted by Allazhar on Mon Jan 16 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

339 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

glamour
wealth
achievements
portrayed
overshadow
influenced
lifestyles
unrealistic
expectations
values
promoting
hard work
perseverance
inspire
positive impact

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
In the modern world, many employees lack soft skill such as communication and working in the teams. What are the main causes of this problem? What are the effects of the lack of such skills ?
In our present time, many workers do not have the required skills for the work environment such as communication and working in teams, I believe that reason is that individuals are not prepared for the job in their life, and to solve this problem they need to work on their skills before working.
6
band
The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Nowadays, science has a significant effect on people’s lifestyles and provides wide facilities, some people believe that the aim of science should just be to improve people’s lives.
4.5
band
Countries around the world will be facing significant challenges relating not only to the environment, but population and education as well. What problems will your country face in the next ten years? How can these problems be overcome? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Public concern regarding a lot of crimes in many notions is still ingreasingly topical since now and the next ten years. These problems occur because many counties still can not tackle an increase of the unemployment rates and insecurities.
5
band
Some people think that getting old is a negative thing, whereas others think it is much easier for people to live in modern society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Growing up is a natural mechanism inside all animals. People cannot avoid from getting old. While there are some voices claiming that became the elderly are easier to live in modern world, I tend to believe that having a young body are easier to live in the modern society.
4.5
band
In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?
In recent times, people are becoming more interested in getting more information about their houses.

Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements and this sets a bad example to the young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

In the modern world, many employees lack soft skill such as communication and working in the teams. What are the main causes of this problem? What are the effects of the lack of such skills ?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that getting old is a negative thing, whereas others think it is much easier for people to live in modern society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?