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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#say #people #age #work
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It is a fact that
,
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 for a variety of reasons
people
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 live longer than they used to the question is: should
this
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 be a reason for raising the
age
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 at which
people
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 retire? One advantage of increasing the
age
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 at which
people
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 stop working is that it will help the state by generating more money.
People
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 in work pay the pensions of those in
retirement
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, so the longer
people
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 stay in work, the less the rest of the population will have to pay towards pensions . Another advantage of having a later
retirement
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age
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 is that an occupation tends to keep
people
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 fulfilled and even healthier and so it is beneficial to keep them working longer,
,
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Currently the normal
retirement
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age
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 is about 55 or 60. in the past
,
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when
people
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 died younger ,They could look forward to only a few years more life. Nowadays they may have 30 to 40 years of leisure ahead of them feeling that they no longer contribute anything valuable to society.
However
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, for ,me the disadvantages of postponing
retirement
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 outweigh the advantages.
Firstly
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,
although
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 older
people
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 obviously bring to the profession a great deal of experience, they gradually become less enthusiastic and less willing to adapt to changes. Young
people
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 are more adaptable and should not have to wait until the seniors leave to get a job.
Secondly
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, many
people
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 simply don’t want to spend so much of their life working. They want to spend time with their children or grandchildren or to use that time for things like travelling before they grow too old to enjoy it .I
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, therefore,
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therefore
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 feel the
retirement
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age
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 should be raised only slightly, if at all.
Submitted by dr.mansoori41 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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