There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes committed each year. While some think the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent, many people believe that other measures will be needed. Discuss both sides.

#crimes #year #think #death #penalty #deterrent #people #measures

The number of

commited

Correct your spelling

committed

crimes is increasing every year. Some would argue, that the

most clear

Change the adjective

clearest

show examples

way is to use

death

Add an article

the death

show examples

penalty as a deterrent, while others say that other measures will be needed. While

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

killing criminals is the quick and easy solution, my perspective is that the punishment must be reliant on

offence

Correct article usage

the offence

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

that was

show examples

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

commited

Correct your spelling

committed

. On the one hand, killing all is showing

strict

Correct article usage

the strict

show examples

government's

Change noun form

government

show examples

position. By knocking all criminals down

government

informs others people which want to commit

offence

about their future

detterment

Correct your spelling

betterment

For example

, in Saudi Arabia all citizens who

commited

Correct your spelling

committed

any kind of

offence

would

lost

Change the verb form

lose

be lost

show examples

their finger as a penalty for the

first

time,

Correct article usage

the next

show examples

time the whole arm would be cut.

However

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show examples

don't see

this

method as

solving

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a solving

the solving

show examples

Correct article usage

the problem

show examples

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

, because

person

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a person

the person

show examples

can frame other

identity

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identities

show examples

and it would be unfair that

innocent

Correct article usage

an innocent

show examples

person would suffer.

On the other hand

, giving punishment which

depend

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depends

show examples

offence

Correct article usage

the offence

show examples

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

commited

Correct your spelling

committed

would reduce the

amount

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number

show examples

of people

Correct pronoun usage

who break

show examples

break

Wrong verb form

breaking

show examples

the law. It means,

appropriate

Correct article usage

an appropriate

show examples

and individual approach which

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

more fair

Replace the words

fairer

show examples

and

consist

Correct subject-verb agreement

consists

show examples

of true justice.

Moreover

, residents would feel more safely due to

government's

Correct article usage

the government's

show examples

clear and fair law and jail system. As an example, in Switzerland for each

tye

Correct your spelling

type

show examples

crime

Add a comma

,crime

show examples

the custodial sentence is already known which leads to

reduction

Correct article usage

a reduction

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

amount

Correct article usage

the amount

show examples

commited

Correct your spelling

committed

each year. I believe,

this

method is preferable, because when identity already knew the sentence,

person

Add an article

a person

the person

show examples

would never commit a murder. In conclusion, while execution is the easiest and quick solution which shows strict

government's

Change noun form

government

show examples

position doesn't solve the problem actually that's why it's

more fair

Replace the words

fairer

show examples

to treat criminals individually.

Submitted by prostoy.pacan4ek on Mon Jan 16 2023

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
43Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

268 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

deterrent
recidivism
rehabilitation
ethical considerations
economic factors
social factors
community policing
public opinion
recidivism rates
community-driven initiatives
modern policing methods
death penalty
serious crimes
crime rates

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There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes committed each year. While some think the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent, many people believe that other measures will be needed. Discuss both sides.

Your opinion

Some believe that it is essential for teenagers to engage in voluntary activities during their leisure time to contribute to the well-being of the local community? Proponents argue that such a requirement would be advantageous for both the individual teenager and society in general.

Today, many people do not know their neighbors in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this?

In some countries, the role of a mother differs in some ways from the role of a father. Why do you think these differences exist? How might parental roles develop in the future?

Some people say that artists such as painters, writers and musicians affect our life more than scientists. TO what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your experience.