Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures

#children #pressures #perspectives #measures

Nowadays,

children

are facing more pressures nowadays from

academic

Fix the agreement mistake

academics

show examples

, due to frequently using mobile electronic devices.

Parents

are not giving good upbringing to

children

Their

Correct pronoun usage

They

show examples

are

also

currently busy in their occupation. Technology

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

made

this

world insane.

Children

don't have good company their company is making them spoil.

Moreover

, getting admission to

children

good

Add an article

a good

show examples

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

also

responsible

Correct article usage

the responsible

show examples

Change the preposition

for

show examples

parents

. In recent times movies are being of sexual ways if

children

watches

Change the verb form

watch

show examples

that

Change preposition

show examples

tv. In early

childhood

Add a comma

,childhood

show examples

their mind

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

easily gets mental trauma.

Parents

should

also

be careful what their child is watching on tv and

beaware

Correct your spelling

be aware

of their company.

However

, education

Change to the active voice

also becomes

has also become

show examples

also

become much burden on

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

ability to read

write

Correct word choice

and write

show examples

. School

Correct word choice

and college

show examples

college

Fix the agreement mistake

colleges

show examples

are teaching

unnessary

Correct your spelling

unnecessary

stuff to

children

their

Replace the word

there

show examples

should teach what

Correct your spelling

show examples

require

Wrong verb form

required

show examples

for

children

in future. In current, times

parents

are getting much

harsh

Correct quantifier usage

more harsh

show examples

with their

children

too

Correct your spelling

show examples

study well. If once

children

do not get good marks their scold

unncessary

Correct your spelling

unnecessary

Parents

will always compare their

child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

with other

children

Additionally

parents

do not see what their

children

have

passion

Add an article

a passion

the passion

show examples

to become.

Change preposition

Parents

show examples

parents

wants their

children

to become engineer and doctor.

Nevertheless

, their

children

have

passion

Add an article

a passion

the passion

show examples

to become

cricketer

Fix the agreement mistake

cricketers

show examples

musician

Fix the agreement mistake

musicians

show examples

Submitted by shoeb.ontario on Mon Jan 16 2023

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

201 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

academic pressure
globalized world
competitive education system
social media influences
cyberbullying
commercial pressures
aggressive marketing
materialistic desires
peer pressure
high expectations
standardized testing
quantifiable performance
stress and anxiety
extracurricular achievements

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Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Global warming is one of the biggest threats humans are facing in the 21st century and sea level is continuing to rise at alarming rates. What are the causes and some possible solutions to global warming?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

According to observations, some animal species have become extinct- or endangered in recent decades. What are reasons behind this tendency? What effects it may have on ecosystems in general?

Some people believe that if police force carries guns, it can encourage a higher level of violence. To what extent do you agree or disagree?