IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way.

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It has been argued that social media sites could affect in a negative way
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youth and their capacity to build interpersonal relationships.
This
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 essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of using social networks and the consequences of young people's behaviour, which from my point of view are more damaging than beneficial. In the first instance, social media could be considered positive for several reasons. It allows shy people to meet and make new friends.
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, is a good way to get in contact with the population from other countries and connect with other cultures.
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, it is a good solution if,
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, you have a long-distance relationship and you want to stay in contact with your partner.
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, there are a large number of disadvantages that we have to take into account. Teenagers are in a really important stage of their lives, they need to learn how to develop healthy relationships, and how to improve their social skills. If they just use social apps and do not do other activities, it could lead to a lack of social development.
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, another of the most dangerous consequences of excessive use of social networks is addiction.
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, it has been claimed that most teenagers have the habit of scrolling on their phones when they
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wake up. In conclusion, social media could be very positive if we use it in the right way, with control and moderation, but, despite
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, it is better to encourage youth to develop other healthy social habits in order to lead them to improve their communication and emotional skills.

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coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion should be strengthened to better summarize the key points and provide a clear stance on the issue.
task achievement
Ensure that the essay fully addresses all aspects of the task prompt, providing a clear stance and well-supported arguments for both sides of the argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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