The leaders of most organizations tend to be older people. However, some argue that younger people make better bosses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bosses of most enterprises are often older
people
.
However
, others think that younger
people
are better
leaders
. Personally, I mostly believe that older
people
make better business
leaders
. Older
people
have more experience in life than younger
people
.
This
means that they are more sagacious than younger individuals and can make wiser decisions. The ability to make choices
well
Rephrase
apply
show examples
that older
people
have makes them better employers when it comes to businesses or organizations. They can look at the advantages and disadvantages of their actions. So, they would make better company
leaders
since they are aware of their actions and choices.
For example
, if an older organization leader had to reach a decision about whether they should launch a product,
such
as an electronic device for cleaning, they would understand the pros and cons of doing
this
. It might be life-enhancing and help
people
do chores, but it could make
people
become lazier as they have a device to assist them with their cleaning which means they do not need to do so. They could add a few adjustments to the product before launching it to the public.
Therefore
, older
people
have better decision-making abilities which make them better
leaders
of businesses.
However
, younger
people
are often more creative than older
people
. They might come up with ideas that could increase their corporation's revenue. They could create a product that might become useful and convenient for the public that nobody else had ever thought of.
For instance
, a young person could invent a waterproof notebook and
due to
its resistance to water, divers could write underwater. It would clearly become increasingly prevalent and would higher the company's revenue. So, young
people
could become good business
leaders
. In conclusion, though young
people
are more creative than older
people
, I still mostly think that older
people
make better bosses.
Submitted by taduyvuong on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that your examples are relevant to the points you are making. Provide specific details and examples that directly support your reasoning.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. However, try to improve the transition between ideas and paragraphs to create a more coherent flow of ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • strategic decision-making
  • crisis management
  • innovative ideas
  • adaptable
  • tech-savvy
  • digital transformation
  • complex situations
  • high-pressure decisions
  • empathy
  • patience
  • strategic foresight
  • authoritative
  • collaborative work culture
  • dynamic
  • inclusive organizational culture
  • ageism
What to do next:
Look at other essays: