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Writing Samples
Band 6

Children today play very violent games. This must be the reason for the increase in violence and crime in most major cities of the world. What are your opinions on this?

#children #games #reason #violence #crime #cities #world
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In today's ,era there are no
children
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 who do not play
games
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 because the parents can not control their
children
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 on what kind of
games
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 they play, so most of the
games
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 consist of
violence
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.
However
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, I do not think that violent
games
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 played by
children
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 are the
reason
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 for the increase in
violence
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 and
crime
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 in megacities around the world, because almost all
crimes
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 are committed by adults who have nothing to do with violent
games
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 and by people who have a mental health problem. It is evident that
crimes
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 are committed by adults, not by
children
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, so
children
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 playing violent
games
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 have nothing to do with the increase in
crime
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. The
reason
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 for the
crime
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 might be absolutely another because there are a lot of
problems
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besides
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games
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, it can be difficult childhood or any
problems
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 with personal life.
For example
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, when I read information about committed
crimes
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, I look at the
reason
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 and it is always related to their personal
problems
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, and it is not because of
games
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. Looking at the statistics of the
crimes
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, we can find that the majority of them were committed due to mental health
problems
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. Violent
games
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 affect
children
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's mental health, but not so much that they can lead to
crime
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. If it is really led to committing a
crime
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, It would be forbidden for play.
For example
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, I played a lot of
games
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 in childhood, some of them consisted of
violence
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, but I did not pay attention to it like many other
children
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, so I believe that it is not a
reason
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 for the
crime
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.  To conclude, the increase in
crime
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 and
violence
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 is not caused by playing violent
games
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, because it does not lead to committing a
crime
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, since
children
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 do not pay much attention to it.
Submitted by Yeslamzhan15 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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