IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #animals #rights #humans #food #research
It is often held, that wild creatures and pets ought to have equal rights with humans. While some people believe that animals should not be used by humanity, others assume that individuals must use them as a tool for research and the food industry.
This
 essay will discuss both these points of view and argue in favour of the latter. On one hand,
this
 is not denying that pets have a right to have a safe and secure place to live and they must be fed.
Secondly
, there is a consideration that nature has already provided all meat substitutes in agriculture
such
 as nuts, whole grains and soy food.
Finally
, there is a law on poaching, but, unfortunately, it does not stop people.
Hence
, the government had to provide more security,
whether
Correct word choice
because
show examples
 they do not want many species to become extinct.
On the other hand
, there is a huge difference between us and the brute. Due to
thinking
Correct pronoun usage
our thinking
show examples
 ability and mental capability, we will never be at the same level.
Moreover
, human is
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
zoophagous,
hence
, meat is the main part past of
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 ration.
Besides
this
, most research and scientific discoveries in medicine have happened only because of animals. In my opinion, beasts play a big role in the development of the human world and health.
Therefore
, we must protect them, but we are unlikely to be able to avoid their participation in scientific research. To conclude
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the aforementioned arguments, I firmly believe that wild creatures are an integral part of our ecosystem without which we could not exist.
Submitted by crespo_el on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Exploitation
  • Animal welfare
  • Ethical treatment
  • Vegetarianism
  • Veganism
  • Cognitive dissonance
  • Humane
  • Live stock
  • Cruelty-free
  • Bioethics
  • Conservation
  • Habitat preservation
  • Ecosystem
  • Biodiversity
  • Animal testing
  • Synthetic biology
  • Genetic engineering
  • Speciesism
  • Animal husbandry
  • Sustainable farming
What to do next:
Look at other essays: