Some people think that government should decide which subject should students’ study at the University while others believe that students should be allowed to apply for subjects they prefer. Discuss both views.
Nowadays, university degrees become ubiquitous and mandatory right for people to learn deeper into a specific field and multiple bachelor's majors are offered by colleges to students. It has been a great contention, whether the government should decide a pupil's subjects or whether students should be permitted to choose their career path freely.
While
determining a disciple's career path would be beneficial for efficient resource allocation, it might be quite opposite to their passion.
Firstly
, massive unemployment is a general problem in most countries, specifically third-world countries. This
problem arises because university graduates are not suitable for industrial demand. To mitigate this
issue, deciding on student majors would potentially help to align manpower expertise to occupation requirements. For instance
, China underwent an industrial revolution, altering from an agricultural to a manufacturing era. According to
this
change, an engineering degree would be fitly juxtaposed to
the agricultural era. Change preposition
with
As a result
, besides
it solves the lack of occupation problem, it would be suitable with China's road map, so that their economy will continuously grow.
On the other hand
, forcing student to learn a different subject from their own passion will have detrimental effects. The former regulation would hinder their full potential since they are on the wrong path. Moreover
, disciples might be stressed or unmotivated to learn their major, leading to mental health problems. To exemplify, people, who are passionate about art, would feel daunted if they were located an engineering degree and vice versa.
To sum up
, both views have their own merit and risk. I personally believe that the government, through the appropriate departments, should provide a recommendation rather than determining their major directly. A psychological test and consolidation could be conducted to enlight them regarding the benefits and risks of majors. However
, at the end
of the day, disciples have to determine their future independently.Submitted by epindonta02 on
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task achievement
You have addressed the task effectively and presented a clear discussion of both viewpoints. However, ensure that your examples are specifically relevant to the argument you are making.
coherence cohesion
Add more linking phrases to create smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs. This will improve the flow and coherence of your essay.
task achievement
Ensure that your arguments are fully developed and supported with detailed examples or explanations. This will make your essay more robust and convincing.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your discussion well.
task achievement
Both viewpoints are addressed in a balanced manner, with a personal opinion stated clearly at the end.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical structure to your essay, and your main points are generally well-supported.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.