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Band 4

Some people think that the government should make laws regarding nutrition and healthy lifestyle while other think that it is a matter or personal choice and personal responsibility.discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #government #laws #nutrition #lifestyle #matter #choice #responsibility
Advertisement plays an important role to promote a product.
however
 ,in some
nations
Add a comma
,nations
show examples
 junk
food
 restaurants and mega markets give some funds to education
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
 to
publicly
Replace the word
publicize
show examples
 their products.As every garden has its weeds,
similarly
this
 situation is both positive as well as
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
development
.
this
 essay will highlight both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
aspects. To explain with the view of positive
development
.it has been observed that students
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 more interest to eat fast
food
 as compared to young people.so that,the organisation think that it is a good idea to promote their upshot in academies.
for example
,a survey was conducted by the world health organization.it was found that about 90%
pupils
Change preposition
of pupils
show examples
 do not like to eat
home made
Correct your spelling
homemade
show examples
food
 at lunch.they prefer to take snacks at
school
Add an article
the school
show examples
 canteen.
That is
 why it is a positive
development
 for
company
Add an article
the company
show examples
 to
advertis
Correct your spelling
advertise
 their upshot.
On the contrary
,it is often argued by some people that it is a negative
development
 to publicize a product in school because they believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Fast
food
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 made up of
unconvenience
Correct your spelling
inconvenience
 material which is not
food
 for
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 health.
As a result
,at present time
junvenile
Correct your spelling
juvenile
juveniles
 have more
healthy
Replace the word
health
show examples
 related problems
such
 as obesity and heart disease problem.
For instance
 ,in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
development
Replace the word
developing
show examples
 countries,the death rate of young people
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 increased by 50% as compared to
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
.Due to children
eat
Wrong verb form
eating
show examples
 more junk
food
 in schools and colleges. To put
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
 a
nut shell
Correct your spelling
nutshell
show examples
,
this
 situation is both merits and demerits.
Although
 ,it's
prove
Correct your spelling
proven
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
that are
show examples
are
Change the verb form
to be
show examples
 developing
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 laws because it is clearly seen that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teenagers have more obese rather than in past.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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