It is important for people to take risks, both their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

It is important to make some risky moves in
career
Correct pronoun usage
your career
show examples
as well as in
personal
Correct pronoun usage
your personal
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life.
Nevertheless
,
this
may harm a person in the
sort
Correct your spelling
short
show examples
term,
it
Correct word choice
but it
show examples
allows them to create new
oppoturnities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
and I believe
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
advantages far outweigh any potential disadvantages.
Firstly
, making a risky move may hurt a person in
short-term
Correct article usage
the short-term
show examples
.
For example
, adults who
psychologically
Add a missing verb
are psychologically
show examples
controlled by their parents because they still receive financial support from them. If they stop
relyimg
Correct your spelling
relying
on their parents so that they can be free to go after their dreams. They may face that their parents
not
Change the verb form
do not
did not
show examples
provide
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
money anymore. The same can be true of making a career change that involved a big pay cut.
However
, I do not think that sacrifice should be seen as a major disadvantage in life because it can pay off greatly in the long run. On the positive side, risks bring
oppoturnities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
.
For instance
, if Mark Zuckerberg had not dropped out
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
harvard
Change the capitalization
Harvard
show examples
to focus on building Facebook, it could have
probbably
Correct your spelling
probably
been another platform.
Therefore
, Facebook become the world’s biggest social media.
In addition
, Bill Gates
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
did not continue his education at Harvard and decided to focus on Microsoft full-time as well.
As a result
, he becomes
richest
Change the article
the richest
show examples
man in the world. I think that opportunities like these are extremely essential because they can life-changing. To sum up,
although
taking risks may
deprivation
Replace the word
deprive
show examples
people in the
sort
Correct your spelling
short
show examples
term, I believe
this
downside is greatly
outweighe
Correct your spelling
outweighed
by the upside that the risk
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can create huge opportunities for
succeed
Replace the word
success
show examples
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
Look at other essays: