Some people believe that it is important to spend a lot of money on family celebrations. While others think it is a waste of money. Discuss both views.

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It is a common belief that spending numerous money on family events is necessary.

However

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, there are a number of people who suppose that payment for an occasion is abundant.

While

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many people argue that its disadvantages, others suppose that it may bring benefits. On the one hand, group celebrations are vital for everyone,

consequently

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spending a large budget is essential.

First,

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this

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is an opportunity for all members of the house to have a together meal and time to share their stories.

Second,

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the solidarity may be improved,

therefore

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each member can empathize with other issues and help them to solve them.

For example

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, a birthday is one of the most unforgettable days for every family. Parents give children a plethora of interesting gifts and share they's stories and experience about life, working or studying.

In addition

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, it is a good time for a child to share difficulties in class, relatives with friends, and received useful tips.

Nevertheless

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, burning too much wealth on celebrations is not a wise choice. The families will face up with financial burdens and have difficulty with daily costs like electricity bills.

Furthermore

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, the situation may become terrible if their child is sick, or need to pay a debt.

For instance

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, if your parents need to pay a fee to rent a house,

while

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they are lacking cash, and dealing with getting fired. Another problem is that not having saving cash when retirement,

therefore

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they are dependent on social benefits.

To sum up

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, it is apparent that organizing a party to celebrate an essential event is necessary

due to

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the fact of benefits that it brings. It is undeniable that allocating enormous costs is unessential.

Submitted by duongducanh06 on Tue Jan 17 2023

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14
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

280 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cherish
nurture
strengthen
bond
create memories
enjoyment
sense of belonging
reconnect
unite
traditions
create traditions
financial burden
priorities
moderation
budget
frugal
extravagant

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