IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since computer technology is now replacing their functions. To what extend do you agree or disagree? Write at least 250 words.

#libraries #waste #money #computer #technology #functions
In
this
 globalized world, everything connects with the advancement of science and technology.
As a result
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 library
system
also
 connects with new
techniqual
Correct your spelling
technical
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
 when we compare
to
Correct pronoun usage
it to
show examples
 the history of libraries. Some people believe that physical libraries are the place
which
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 wasted money and virtual libraries are the most suitable thing for contemporary society. On the one hand, I suppose that the above-mentioned statement is productive for the
youngseters
Correct your spelling
youngsters
 who always use technology for their
day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
show examples
 activities. ,
Otherwise
Add a comma
,Otherwise
show examples
 they skip up reading and gaining knowledge from
books
.
Moreover
, It must adapt and change according to the development of computer functions.
The digital
Correct article usage
Digital
show examples
books
no
Correct your spelling
do
show examples
 need
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space and it does not damage
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 insects, climate changes, disasters, etc. Government can save the money which
pay
Change the verb form
pays
show examples
 for renting and repairing buildings.
Furthermore
, they can reduce the
employees
Correct quantifier usage
number of employees
show examples
 and use
self-service
Correct article usage
a self-service
show examples
system
.
On the other hand
, sometimes we can not trust about
computer based
Add a hyphen
computer-based
show examples
softwares
Correct your spelling
software
 and it has drawbacks.
Firstly
, it has a virus threat whole
system
 will be getting down. Everyone hasn’t computer
literary
Replace the word
literature
show examples
 though we live in
21st
Change the article
the 21st
show examples
 century and some people have a habit of reading
books
. If they read
books
 by using
digital
Correct article usage
a digital
show examples
screen
Fix the agreement mistake
screens
show examples
, it will damage their physical fitness, especially the eyes may
be weaken
Change the verb form
be weakened
be weakening
show examples
. To sum up, according to my point of
veiw
Correct your spelling
view
, though
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology is a significant part of our lives, we can not throw away the public library
system
.
Submitted by kavindianjalee on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • repositories of books
  • promoting literacy
  • community engagement
  • equal access to information
  • digital divide
  • accessibility issues
  • personalized assistance
  • educational programs
  • cultural events
  • safe spaces
  • community meetings
  • tactile experience
  • preserving historical documents
  • important cultural repositories
  • fostering a sense of community
  • communal hubs
  • serene and focused environment
  • conducive to study and reflection
  • irreplaceable value
  • distracted environment
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